Chuck Lamar

50 Hilarious Sports Quotes

"The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major league level." (AP Photo/Al Behrman)

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Danny Ozark "Even Napoleon had his Watergate." (AP Photo/PS)
Quinton 'Rampage... "Right now, Chuck Liddell is my role model. I really look up to him, mainly because he is taller then me." (AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Neil Davidson)
Bobby Knight "If the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love was on channel 4, I'd watch the frogs even if they were coming in fuzzy." (AP Photo/Tony Gutierrez)
Reggie Jackson "The only reason I don't like playing in the World Series is I can't watch myself play." (AP Photo)
Allen Iverson "We're talking about practice. I mean listen, we're sitting here talking about practice, not a game, not a game, not a game, but we're talking about practice. Not the game that I go out there and die for and play every game like it's my last but we're talking about practice man." --Iverson would go on to say practice over 20 times in a two-minute period. (AP Photo/Charles Krupa)
Ozzie Guillen on... "Usually the manager wants his players to get a hit. I cheer for him not to get a hit because then he will have to run the bases." (AP Photo/Jeff Roberson)
Donovan McNabb Whatever happened in the past, hopefully it`s over." .... But wait, there's more: "This is a time to get better and we try to use this preseason as kind of a stepping stone to take short steps to be ready by the time the season comes around." (AP Photo/Michael Perez)
Kurt Busch "My wiener has never been so exhausted."--after outlasting three other drivers to win the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile race at Lowe's Motor Speedway. (AP Photo/Lou Krasky)
Bill Belichick "I don't think there's anybody in this organization not focused on the 49ers...I mean Chargers." (AP Photo/Stephan Savoia)
Jerry Rice "I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that." (AP Photo/Eric Risberg)
Kobe Bryant "These young guys are playing checkers. I'm out there playing chess." (AP Photo/David J. Phillip
Ralph Kiner "The Mets just had their first .500-or-better April since July of 1992." (AP Photo/Richard Drew)
Mike Tyson "I am the most ruthless, brutal champion ever. There is no one who can match me. I want your heart. I want to eat your children." (AP Photo/Ross D. Franklin)
Kellen Winslow "I'm a !@%&ing soldier!" (AP Photo/Mark Duncan)
Chad Johnson "I'm traveling to all 51 states to see who can stop 85." (AP Photo/David Kohl)
Sebastian Telfai... "They should have focused more on me." -- on the ESPN documentary "Through the Fire" about him. (AP Photo/Jim Mone)
Lou Duva Veteran boxing trainer Lou Duva on Andrew Golata: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." (AP Photo)
Matt Stairs “When you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you’re getting your ass hammered by guys—there’s no better feeling than to have that done.” (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)
Maurice Clarett "It's a humbling thing being humble." -- after his stock dropped as the 2005 NFL draft was approaching due to injury. (AP Photo/Ed Andrieski)
Antoine Walker "Because there are no fours." -- on why he shoots so many threes. (AP Photo/Elise Amendola)
John Daly "There are probably some things I could do to keep my flexibility up, but I'd rather smoke, drink diet Cokes and eat." (AP Photo/Dave Thompson)
Ron Artest "I'm growing up, maturing, but at the same time I'm hood forever." (AP Photo/Philip Scott Andrews)
Jose Canseco "Every time that I have ever tried to help a woman out, I have been incarcerated." (AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)
Terry Bradshaw "I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid." (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)
Karl Malone "I ain't gonna be no escape-goat!" (AP Photo/Douglas C. Pizac)
Randy Moss "When you're rich, you don't write checks. Straight cash, homey." (AP Photo/Garry Jones)
Ken Shamrock to ... “I will knock your hair black.”
Scottie Pippen "He's one of the best power forwards of all time. I take my hands off to him." (AP Photo/Michael S. Green)
Terrell Owens "Don't say I don't get along with my teammates. I just don't get along with some of the guys on the team." (AP Photo/Tim Sharp)
Greg Norman “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.” (AP Photo/Eric Risberg)
Pedro Martinez "Just tip my cap and call the Yankees my daddy." (AP Photo/Kathy Willens)
John Madden “Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field.” (AP Photo/Reed Saxon)
Tug Mcgraw “I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.” -- on being asked if he preferred grass to Astroturf. (AP Photo)
Drew Gooden "I've had to overcome a lot of diversity." (AP Photo/Michael S. Green)
Shannon Sharpe "Ray Lewis is the type of guy, if he were in a fight with a bear I wouldn't help him, I'd pour honey on him because he likes to fight. That's the type of guy Ray Lewis is." (AP Photo/Roberto Borea)
Sherman Douglas “I don’t want to shoot my mouth in my foot, but those are games we can win.” (AP Photo/Rusty Kennedy)
Charles Barkley "These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it." (AP Photo/Michael Caulfield)
Chuck Lamar "The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major league level." (AP Photo/Al Behrman)
Alex Rodriguez "Therapy can be a good thing; it can be therapeutic." (AP Photo/Earl Carter)
Doug Collins "Anytime Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win." (AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian)
Wayne Gretzky "You miss 100% of the shots you never take." (AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Darren Calabrese)
Tim Sylvia “I'm the oldest I’ve ever been, right now.” (AP Photo/Jane Kalinowsky)
Jerry Coleman "A day without newspapers is like walking around without your pants on." (AP Photo/John Dunn)
Floyd Mayweather... "They always try this slick to try to put me in a no-win situation." (AP Photo/Isaac Brekken)
Frank Gifford “Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.” (AP Photo/Luis M. Alvarez)
David Coleman on... “And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.” (AP-Photo/str/BTA)
Dennis Rodman "Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something." (AP Photo/Gregory Smith)
Larry Bowa "We talked five times. I called him twice, and he called me twice." (AP Photo/Matt York)
Joe Theisman "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." (AP Photo/Nick Wass)