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iVillage: Crazy-but-True Unlucky Dating Horror Stories

Why You Shouldn't Date the Professor

I went out for drinks at a posh martini bar with one of my literature professors once (after the class was over, of course). He was beautiful, intelligent and flirtatious. I figured he was a bit older than me, but didn’t think it was by much and I had a crush on the guy all semester. However, it turns out he liked to drink. A lot. He slammed three martinis within 15 minutes, announced he was 63 (!), fell off his bar stool and had to be picked up off the floor by the waiter.

He then launched into this insane story about how he had cheated on his wife with one of his students, divorced the wife and married the student, but then realized his mistake and divorced the student. He and the first ex-wife decided to get back together, but she had been dating someone, and he decided he wasn’t going to let her go, stalking her for awhile before he killed her. Yes, seriously. And he told me the entire horrific tale in under two minutes while guzzling another martini and crying.

I felt sorry for him, but was quite done with the evening by this point. I suggested we go and he got up from the table, reached behind for his coat and instead tried to put on the suit jacket of the man in the booth behind us. I put him in the correct coat and led us across the floor and toward the back door. About half-way across the room I noticed the piano player had stopped playing and the entire bar was staring at me. I turned around to find my date once again on the floor. This time two bouncers helped pick him up and escorted him to the door while I tried my best to become invisible.

(George Marks/Retrofile/Getty)
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The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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