iVillage.com: 16 Ways to Pick the Perfect Middle Name for Your Baby
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Good Middle Name...
Let’s face it: Finding one great name for your baby can be a huge challenge. (It’s got to be unique! But not too weird! And classic! But not fuddy-duddy!) Finding two? Forget it. But the humble middle name, so often relegated to mere initial status, is taking on a more high profile role these days, and it deserves your attention.
“Middle names really complete the name package,” says Amanda Elizabeth Barden, author of Baby Names Made Easy. “Full names appear on important documents like graduation certificates, and when people enter their professional lives, they often start using a middle name or initial.” (Note that Barden uses hers!) A middle name will also help your child distinguish himself from someone else with the same name (and unless you’re naming your kid something like Pilot Inspektor, it can happen, especially in the Internet age), and allow you to buy adorable monogrammed baby gear. You’ll even prevent your kid from a lifetime of hearing the “You don’t have a middle name?!” question, Barden says.
So while you can relax a little -- there are no rules when it comes to picking a middle name -- follow these tips to find the perfect middle moniker for your babe.
Go with the Flow
No matter what names you’re considering, the way they flow together is key, so say out loud any combinations that are in the running before making your final decision. “Because both my husband and I are writers, the rhythm of our daughter's full name was important to us,” says mom Ellen N. “We knew we needed something with three syllables to flow best with the shorter first and last names, and something that had a 'soft' sound to balance the harder sounds in the first and last.” Her middle name choice: Emerson -- a perfect complement to the first name, Chloe.
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Don’t Be an A.S....
Along those same lines, think about what your kid’s initials could spell out, advises Jennifer Moss, the founder and CEO of BabyNames.com and the author of The One-in-a-Million Baby Name Book. “Middle initials are used a lot, so make sure they don’t spell out anything like H.O.G.,” she says. Other combos to avoid: S.O.B., G.A.S. and D.O.G.
“To me, initials are as important as the entire name,” agrees mom Paula B. “I really liked the name 'Evan', and I dreamed of a son with the initials 'EJ' for years. Although I never would have selected it as his first name, James ended up being perfect as a middle name.”
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Take Ten -- The ...
Even if you’re avoiding uber-trendy baby names like Jacob and Isabella (or any name on a “top” list) for a first name, you might find inspiration (and good company) in the list of top ten for middle names. According to the Social Security Administration, the top 10 baby names of 2010 were:
Boys: Jacob, Ethan, Michael, Jayden, William, Alexander, Noah, Daniel, Aiden, Anthony
Girls: Isabella, Sophia, Emma, Olivia, Ava, Emily, Abigail, Madison, Chole, Mia
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Google It First
Got a combo you think is a winner? It’s a good idea to Google it first, Moss says. “You don’t want anything to embarrass your child [down the road].” When one mom-to-be, quoted in this Wall Street Journal article, Googled her top choice for a girl’s name, she discovered it was also the name of a British porn star.
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Keep It in the F...
The middle name is a great way to honor a family member that you don’t necessarily want to honor with a first name, Moss says. “My son and I share a middle name -- Anthony,” says dad Ron M. “It’s for my paternal grandfather, and I wanted to honor him.” We love the idea of looking back three, four or more generations and see the same middle name.
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Clarify That Gen...
Bald babies plus unisex names can equal gender confusion when it comes to making the big “Baby’s Here!” announcement. Names like Cameron, Hayden and Quinn -- the list can go on and on -- don’t immediately scream “boy” or “girl” so pick a middle name that makes it clear. A name like Cameron Quinn, while having a nice ring, would just add to the confusion -- Cameron Jack for a boy or Cameron Stella for a girl are better options.
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Sneak Something ...
If you love granny-chic names but aren’t really ready to take the leap for a first name, make her middle name. Pair a trendy name like Jayden with the more traditional James, or vice versa. “Middle names give parents a chance to be a little daring,” Barden says. “If they like a quirky name, but are not 100-percent sure their child will love it, they can choose one traditional name and one less traditional name and then the child can choose which one he or she prefers.”
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Take Back a Name...
Say your sister-in-law stole “your” girl name (the witch!), or the moniker you’ve had your heart set on since you were in high school is suddenly all the rage (hello, Isabella). Avoid duplication and use it as a middle name instead! After all, it really won’t matter if your kid’s middle name is the same as his cousin’s first name, and the too-trendy factor of a super-popular name is taken down a notch when it’s moved to the middle.
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Avoid "Junior"
We’re not saying you shouldn’t name your son after his papa if that’s what you want to do -- but picking a new middle name is a great way to pass along a family name without necessarily saddling your kid with the “Junior” title, and can help ease the confusion of having two guys with the same name in one house. You can call your kid by his middle name or his first name and middle initial. “We tend to recommend that you give your child a different name,” Moss says. “It gives them more individuality.”
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Remember: Your ...
Before you get too crazy with a middle name choice, remember that someday your kid might actually want to be known by that name. Professional actors (including celebs like Reese Witherspoon, Faith Hill, Ashton Kutcher and Jude Law, to name a few) commonly use their middle names, either in place of their given first name or in addition to it.
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Make It Mom's La...
Using your maiden name for your child’s middle name is an increasingly popular way to honor the maternal side of the family -- especially if you took your husband’s last name.
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Name After a Per...
Sure, you probably won’t really discover your babe’s true personality by the time you have to name her, but picking a personality trait you hope she’ll embody is a nice touch. Names like Grace, Serene and Brave all fit the bill.
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Celebrate Your C...
A middle name is a great way to pay tribute to your heritage. Nameberry co-founder Linda Rosenkrantz notes Kristi Yamaguchi gave both of her daughters Japanese middle names (Emma Yoshiko and Keara Kiyomi), and actress Mayim Bialik gave her son Frederick a Yiddish middle name, Heshel. If the two of you come from different cultural backgrounds, you can use a name from mom’s culture as the middle name if dad’s is represented in the first, or vice versa.
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Make It Personal
Take the opportunity to give your kid a name that means something special to the two of you. Mom Elaine Z. gave her third child -- a “surprise bonus kid” -- a middle name that reflected her favorite place in Greece. Mom Heather W. named both of her kids after rivers, and found a middle name, Rae, that means "flowing" for her daughter. You can even select (or make up!) a name to create something meaningful. We know one mom who gave her daughter the made-up middle name "Liden" after the place in New Hampshire ("Granliden") where she and her husband got engaged and married.
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Try Two Middle N...
Can’t decide between two great options? Who says you have to? “I love the idea of using two middle names -- the more the merrier!” Barden says. In fact, according to Nameberry.com, using two or more middle names is a common British tradition. (Want proof? Look at Jamie Oliver’s kids’ names: Buddy Bear Maurice, Petal Blossom Rainbow, Daisy Boo Pamela and Poppy Honey Rosie!) In some cultures, children take on a confirmation name in addition to their original first-middle-last combo, or may adopt their mother's maiden name in addition to a middle name. Keep in mind, however, that most legal forms allow for just one middle name, Moss says.
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Consider Skippin...
Still can’t decide? Consider this: There’s no rule that says you need a middle name at all. In fact, giving your kid a middle name didn’t become a common practice in the U.S. until the 1800s. “I refused to give a middle name to my first child, because I didn’t know how many kids I would have and I thought middle names area waste of a good potential first name,” says mom Danielle S. And although she gave her daughter a middle name, she skipped it for her second son, she says, because “we had enough trouble finding a first name.”
Will this leave your kid with one less option to call herself? Yes. And it might make for an awkward monogram. (Not to mention the fact that you’ll lose out on the fun of calling her by three well-enunciated names in your stern-mama voice whenever she’s in trouble.) But if you really can’t agree on a great middle name, don’t sweat it.
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