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With the full title of (deep breath) “When the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king/What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight/And he’ll win the whole thing ‘fore he enters the ring/There’s no body to batter when your mind is your might/So when you go solo, you hold your own hand/And remember that depth is the greatest of heights/And if you know where you stand, then you know where to land/And if you fall it won’t matter, cause you’ll know that you’re right,” Fiona Apple’s 1999 release held the record for the longest album title, until ...-Jeff Royer
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That’s Not PunnyFrom painful puns to juvenile jokes, these awful album titles are memorable for all the wrong reasons.-Jeff Royer
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Paul McCartney –...When Paul McCartney released his new album earlier this year, Brad Paisley tweeted what everyone else was thinking: "It's only February, but Sir Paul is an absolute lock for worst album title of the year. Actually, maybe all time.”-Jeff Royer
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Fiona Apple – ‘T...Oddly enough, the rambling 23-word title of Apple’s forthcoming album – “The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw, and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do” – isn’t the longest in her catalog. That honor goes to ...-Jeff Royer
(Photo: Fiona Apple/Facebook)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Fiona Apple – ‘W...With the full title of (deep breath) “When the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king/What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight/And he’ll win the whole thing ‘fore he enters the ring/There’s no body to batter when your mind is your might/So when you go solo, you hold your own hand/And remember that depth is the greatest of heights/And if you know where you stand, then you know where to land/And if you fall it won’t matter, cause you’ll know that you’re right,” Fiona Apple’s 1999 release held the record for the longest album title, until ...-Jeff Royer
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Soulwax – ‘Most ...Soulwax edged out Fiona Apple’s ‘When the Pawn...’ for longest album title with their 2007 release “Most of the remixes we've made for other people over the years except for the one for Einstürzende Neubauten because we lost it and a few we didn't think sounded good enough or just didn't fit in length–wise, but including some that are hard to find because either people forgot about them or simply because they haven't been released yet, a few we really love, one we think is just ok, some we did for free, some we did for money, some for ourselves without permission and some for friends as swaps but never on time and always at our studio in Ghent.” That record stood until …-Jeff Royer
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Chumbawumba – ‘T...Chumbawumba broke the record for longest album title (a dubious honor they still claim today) with their 2008 release “The Boy Bands Have Won and All The Copyists and The Tribute Bands and The TV Talent Show Producers Have Won, If We Allow Our Culture To Be Shaped By Mimicry, Whether From Lack Of Ideas Or From Exaggerated Respect. You Should Never Try To Freeze Culture. What You Can Do Is Recycle That Culture. Take Your Older Brother’s Hand–Me–Down Jacket and Re–Style It, Re–Fashion It to the Point Where It Becomes Your Own. But Don’t Just Regurgitate Creative History, Or Hold Art And Music And Literature As Fixed, Untouchable And Kept Under Glass. The People Who Try To ‘Guard’ Any Particular Form Of Music Are, Like The Copyists And Manufactured Bands, Doing It The Worst Disservice, Because The Only Thing That You Can Do To Music That Will Damage It Is Not Change It, Not Make It Your Own. Because Then It Dies, Then It’s Over, Then It’s Done, and The Boy Bands Have Won.”-Jeff Royer
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Toby Keith – ‘Sh...If you have to actually inform your audience that you are, in fact, currently shocking them, you’re probably not getting the job done. The only thing about this album that is even remotely shock’n is the punctuation.-Jeff Royer
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Fergie – ‘The Du...When your album title is only two words long, and one of those words is “the,” it is not OK to have a spelling error. (It’s spelled duchess, Fergs!)-Jeff Royer
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Squeeze – ‘Cosi ...Let’s establish this fact: puns are not OK in album titles. This will be referenced from here on out as the Squeeze Rule. The Squeeze Rule applies especially to cases where the pun involves the merger of a Mozart opera (“Cosi fan tutte”) and Little Richard.-Jeff Royer
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Coldplay – ‘Mylo...Coldplay sent the pretention–o–meter to 11 with this concept album named after the song’s lead characters. Singer Chris Martin has gone on record to say he regretted the decision.-Jeff Royer
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Butthole Surfers...I still can’t decide if this is the best or the worst album title in history.-Jeff Royer
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Elton John – ‘Ca...I’m not sure what a “brown dirt cowboy” is, and I’m not about to Google it at work.-Jeff Royer
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Kansas – ‘Point ...Squeeze Rule. See also: “Leftoverture,” “Always Never the Same,” “Somewhere to Elsewhere.”-Jeff Royer
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John Oates – ‘Ph...Get it? It’s like funk and feng shui all rolled into one. Only Oates’ album isn’t funk, and has nothing to do with feng shui, making this use of album–title punnery all the more egregious.-Jeff Royer
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Limp Bizkit – ‘C...It’s hard to say who’s more to blame for the whole Limp Bizkit phenomenon – the band itself, or the rest of America, who made an album named after Fred Durst’s juvenile euphemism for an anus the fastest–selling rock album in history.-Jeff Royer
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Pete Townshend –...Townshend initially tried to defend the title of his 1982 album as a grand statement on the inherent goodness and evil of humanity and the futility of trying to mask one’s true nature, as we are all ultimately defined by how we are perceived by others. But later he admitted he should have won Stupid Title of the Year.-Jeff Royer
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Blink 182 – ‘Ene...Squeeze Rule. Also see: “Take Off Your Pants And Jacket.”-Jeff Royer
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
The Police – ‘Ze...Even in his pre–lute days, Sting was giving subtle clues of the pompous fuddy–duddy he would one day become. Exhibit A: the title of this 1980 album, which is Sanskrit (!) for “top of the world.”-Jeff Royer
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Will Smith – ‘Bi...The most child–friendly rap album of the millennium somehow ended up with the title of a movie you would never want your children to see.-Jeff Royer
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Smashing Pumpkin...The album to blame for an entire generation’s worth of terrible emo wordplay.-Jeff Royer
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Spoon – ‘Ga Ga G...I know it’s Spoon, and I know the title’s supposed to be some dadaist form of expression, but that doesn’t negate the fact that this album title is obnoxious. I’d call out Radiohead for doing the same thing, I swear.-Jeff Royer
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Public Enemy – ‘...Squeeze Rule. Also see: “New Whirl Order,” “Revolverlution.”-Jeff Royer
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Weezer – ‘Raditu...At first, I was like, “Oh, man, this is a really terrible album title!” Then I read that it was suggested to the band by longtime fan Rainn Wilson of “The Office” fame, and I was like, “Actually, no, it’s kind of cool.” And then five minutes later I realized it was still stupid.-Jeff Royer
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Sebastian Bach –...I know it's just a live album, but it's still the worst self-reference in an album title since ...-Jeff Royer
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Reel Big Fish – ...Three things this ska band sees little of these days.-Jeff Royer
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Van Halen – ‘OU8...Squeeze Rule. Also see: “For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.”-Jeff Royer
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Jennifer Lopez –...That was me not liking your attempt at profundity... Now.-Jeff Royer
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Primus – ‘Pork S...From the same band that brought you “Sailing the Seas of Cheese,” "Shake Hands With Beef," “Hamburger Train” and the Grammy-nominated "Wynona's Big Brown Beaver."-Jeff Royer
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Maroon 5 – ‘It W...Adam Levine, you are a scholar and a poet. That, or you're making fun of some 14-year-old's poetry homework. Sometimes it's hard to tell.-Jeff Royer
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