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In 2010, the star of “The Real Housewives of New York” released the song “Money Can’t Buy You Class” with an accompanying video that inadvertently drove home the real lesson here: Money can’t buy you talent. What it CAN buy you is lots of Auto-Tune, lots of airbrushing and lots of handsome actors pretending to be straight men enamored with a rapidly aging countess. —Jeff Royer (Photo: Jason Kempin, Getty Images)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Kim KardashianKardashian’s debut single “Jam (Turn It Up)” tanked hard last March and the video was subsequently scrapped, but that didn't stop clips of the Hype Williams-directed featurette from leaking online. The video consists primarily of a heavily greased Kim lip-synching lyrics to her generic dance tune and showing off her various assets in a pair of shorts that leave little to the imagination. —Jeff Royer (Photo: Jamie McCarthy, Getty Images)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Mike "The Situat...First “Jersey Shore” star Mike Sorrentino nicknamed his abs “The Situation.” Then he nicknamed himself “The Situation.” Five bucks if you can guess what he titled his debut rap song. You got it! Released in 2010, “The Situation” features Sorrentino and a backing cast of yahoos repeating various slogans from the show, name-dropping clothing brands and saying “Woo” whenever the spirit moves them. —Jeff Royer (Photo: Andrew H. Walker, Getty Images)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Countess LuAnn d...In 2010, the star of “The Real Housewives of New York” released the song “Money Can’t Buy You Class” with an accompanying video that inadvertently drove home the real lesson here: Money can’t buy you talent. What it CAN buy you is lots of Auto-Tune, lots of airbrushing and lots of handsome actors pretending to be straight men enamored with a rapidly aging countess. —Jeff Royer (Photo: Jason Kempin, Getty Images)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Pauly D“Jersey Shore” star Paul "DJ Pauly D" Delvecchio may be the only reality star with an actual shot at a legitimate music career. In 2010, the budding DJ released a debut single, "Beat Dat Beat (It's Time To).” He spent much of the summer of 2011 opening for Britney Spears on her massive “Femme Fatale” tour. In August, he signed a three-album deal with 50 Cent’s G-Unit label. —Jeff Royer (Photo: Christopher Polk, Getty Images)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Kim ZolciakAided by fellow “Real Housewives of Atlanta” star Kandi Burress, and utterly undaunted by the fact that she can’t actually sing, Zolciak churned out the dance single “Tardy for the Party,” an oddly catchy tune has the dubious honor of being so bad it’s good again. While Zolciak began the show as an aspiring country artist, “Tardy for the Party” made her a novelty club star by shooting to the No. 3 spot on iTunes’ dance charts. —Jeff Royer (Photo: Dario Cantatore, Getty Images)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Heidi MontagMontag has had more than one stab at music (and our ears) since making a name for herself on “The Hills.” Her first single, “Body Language,” premiered on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show in 2007, but didn’t get widespread attention until a disastrous live performance at the Miss Universe 2009 pageant hit YouTube. She debuted a second single, “Higher,” in 2008, which was so poorly reviewed that it was dropped from her debut album. Despite boasting a minor dance hit in “More Is More” (penned by Lady Gaga), Montag’s album “Superficial” was widely ridiculed and sold a paltry 1,000 copies during its first week. —Jeff Royer (Photo: David Becker, Getty Images)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Kevin FederlineAn opportunist unfettered by things like “taste” and “boundaries,” Kevin Federline quickly capitalized on his marriage to Britney Spears and the ensuing reality show “Britney & Kevin: Chaotic” with the 2005 release of his catastrophic debut single “Y’all Ain’t Ready.” That was followed up in 2006 with the song “PopoZao” (translation: big butt). The singles were received so poorly that both were dropped from his debut album, “Playing with Fire,” which was a critical and commercial mega-flop. —Jeff Royer (Photo: David Hardenberg, Getty Images)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Paris HiltonWhen life hands you lemons, make lemonade. But when life hands you untold riches and a life of luxury, make a sex tape! That’s what hotel heiress Paris Hilton did, and it opened up all kinds of new doors for her, including her own reality show, “The Simple Life,” and a debut album, “Paris,” released in 2006. Surprisingly, the album yielded a genuine hit single in “Stars Are Blind,” which charted in 17 countries (it shot to No. 1 on the Billboard Hot Dance Club chart) and landed some actual critical praise. —Jeff Royer (Photo: Imeh Akpanudosen, Getty Images)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Julianne Hough“Dancing with the Stars” darling Julianne Hough parlayed her two championships into a successful music career with the release of her debut country single “Will You Dance With Me” in 2007. After scoring a record deal, Hough released her self-titled debut album, which landed at No. 1 on the country charts and yielded a minor country hit in “That Song in My Head.” She capped her run by pulling in the CMA Awards for both Top New Female Vocalist and Top New Artist. Her follow-up album is set for release in 2012. —Jeff Royer (Photo: David Livingston, Getty Images)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Tila TequilaWhen Tila Tequila landed her own MTV reality dating show, “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila,” it looked to everyone like the MySpace star had fulfilled her potential and then some. Everyone, that is, except Tila Tequila, who then decided to take “a shot” at a music career. However, after signing with Will.i.am’s record label, Tequila opted to independently release her debut single, “I Love U.” The single (and, it would seem, Tequila’s music career as a whole) was DOA, but that didn’t stop the budding singer from releasing a series of follow-up tracks, including “Stripper Friends” and “I F***** the DJ.” —Jeff Royer (Photo: Cindy Ord, Getty Images)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Brooke HoganHulk Hogan’s daughter was a fledgling singer even before gaining fame on “Hogan Knows Best.” She notched a (very) minor hit in 2004 with “Everything to Me” and even sang the national anthems before Game 7 of the 2004 Stanley Cup Finals. But it wasn’t until she released her first proper album, “Undiscovered,” in 2006 that she experienced any real success. Lead single “About Us” premiered on the season two finale of her show and cracked the Top 40. Her success was fleeting, however, and by the release of 2009’s “The Redemption” the music world had already moved on. —Jeff Royer (Photo: Frazer Harrison, Getty Images)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Lisa D’AmatoTry as she might, “America’s Next Top Model” contestant Lisa D’Amato will never be able to top the stunts that made her a star during Cycle 5, including peeing in an adult diaper during a photo shoot with the boys of “Jackass” and having a conversation with a bush she named Cousin It. But that fact didn’t discourage her from taking a stab at a music career with the release of hip-hop single “Ace of Spades” in 2007. She followed up that misstep with several other singles, aided by her musician boyfriend Cisco Adler. None connected with listeners, although “Can’t Touch It!” was featured on an episode of “Entourage.” So that’s something. —Jeff Royer (Photo: Michael Buckner, Getty Images)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Spencer PrattAfter establishing himself as once of the least likeable stars in reality TV history via stints on “The Hills” and “The Princes of Malibu,” Pratt saw his career through to its logical conclusion with the release of a rap song titled “I’m a Celebrity,” which doubled as a promotional jingle for the reality show of the same name. The atrocious track was accompanied by a (not supposed to be) funny video featuring Pratt serenading various lizards and wife Heidi Montag dancing around like a goon in the background. —Jeff Royer (Photo: Will Ragozzino, Getty Images)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Ali LohanWhile Lindsay’s little sis’ attempts to break into show business were documented on “Living Lohan,” we’ve yet to see the true results. She did manage to take some small steps towards establishing a music career with the release of a holiday album in 2006 (the menacingly titled “Lohan Holiday”) and the marginally successful single “All the Way Around.” Her next album was recorded, but remains unreleased. —Jeff Royer (Photo: Michael Loccisano, Getty Images)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
Melissa GorgaDown in the cellar of reality TV celebrity is Melissa Gorga, who joined “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” earlier this year for its third season. A stay-at-home mom of three, Gorga is hell bent on establishing a career in music. In August, she released her debut single “On Display,” a nod to her new life on camera. Sample lyric: “Got me feeling all these feelings and it’s driving me insane / Paparazzi watching me do my thing.” —Jeff Royer (Photo: Steve Mack, Getty Images)
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.
