‘Survivor: Cagayan’ Finale Recap – Million-Dollar Mistake?

by | May 21, 2014 at 9:45 PM | RealityTV, Survivor, TV News

'Survivor: Cagayan' (CBS)

NOTE: XFINITY TV is the place to be for all sorts of “Survivor: Cagayan” back-stabbin’, torch-snuffin’ fun. Check back Thursday for my interviews with tonight’s big winner and the rest of the final four. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for immediate updates.

Previously on ‘Survivor’: David never got out of the batter’s box, Garrett was gorgeous then gone, Butterfly Brice was bounced, J’Tia was J’Tossed, Cliff fouled out, Lindsey left, Alexis was aliminated, Sarah was stabbed in the back, Morgan was muted, LJ was 86’d, Jeremiah became a model jury member, Jefra was jettisoned, Tasha was trounced, and Trish was the latest Kass-ualty…

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Let’s take a look at our final four…

The Solarrion Tribe (wearing black)
Kassandra – Attorney, 41
Spencer – Economics Student, 21
Tony – Police Officer, 39
Woo – Martial Arts Instructor, 29

Things kick off after last week’s Trish shocker. Tony admits to voting out his buddy because she was too much of a threat to take to the end. However, he feels terrible because she hadn’t done anything to defy him.

Tony refuses to discuss the full power of the magic idol. But he hints that it guarantees him final three. Why stop there? Tell them that it gets you six extra votes and a duffel bag of Lunchables.

Quick Aside: No idea why my brain went to a “duffel bag of Lunchables.”

The next morning, Kass thinks that it was a mistake to get rid of Trish because everyone hated her. Really? Every exit interview says differently.

And then…it’s family visit time? What?!

Kass’s husband, Spencer’s sister, Tony’s best friend, and Woo’s cousin show up on the beach. Tony is very upset that his wife didn’t leave the baby behind to fly forever to get to the Philippines. Why, so he can swear on her in person?

Woo lets us know that the million-dollar win will allow him to propose to his girlfriend. What’s with waiting on reality TV wins to make big life decisions? I’m looking at you Team Brenchel.

Kass tells her husband that she’s going to make a play for the women jurors. She thinks that if she made the same moves as a man she’d be a strategist, but as a woman she’s regarded negatively. Normally, she’d have a point, but people of all sexes hate her because she’s mean to them.

Immunity Challenge Time: Players will be perched on a pole in the ocean. They’ll use a bucket to retrieve water. They’ll pour the water into a chute to get a key. Then they’ll take the key back to the beach to unlock puzzle pieces. First person to finish their puzzle wins immunity.

Kass might as well drop out of all of the challenges Richard-Hatch style. She’s everyone’s dream final two.

The challenge starts off and Tony is really uncomfortable with the length of the pole.

Oh, grow up.

He gets over his fear of heights and starts dominating. He’s the first one to retrieve his key. However, he won’t jump into the water because he can’t swim. Wait, what?! Who goes on the show without knowing how to swim?

Tony’s the first one to the puzzle, Spencer is right behind him. Woo eventually joins them.

Meanwhile, Kass has to climb down because her rope got tied up with her key. ‘Wacky Sax’ should be playing in the background.

She eventually figures it out and makes a go for it. She’s gets to the beach and blows through the puzzle and wins?! Meanwhile in Delaware, I’m picking my jaw up off of the floor.

Back at camp, Kass is psyched that she can get rid of Spencer and go to the final three with two brawns. Oh…final three you say?!

Tony, meanwhile, is bummed that he’ll never win a challenge. Dude…just wait!

Spencer takes Tony aside and tells him that he thinks there’s a final two. He figures it out because of how J-Pro didn’t say his usual final-three spiel. So smart.

He makes the argument that Tony will be a target at final three if Spencer is gone.

Meanwhile, Woo is stressed out because Spencer is still making moves. Also, Woo doesn’t remember how the final four tie breaker will work. Oh Woo…you’re so pretty.

That night at Tribal Council, Kass says that her husband’s voice helped inspire her to win.

Spencer doesn’t want to leave the game two days short of his dream. He also thinks Tony will be a target at final three if he’s gone.

He then says he’d take Tony to the end if he won final three immunity.

Hmm…

Probst thinks Woo hasn’t offended anybody. Dude, they call him “Weasel Woo.”

Woo claims that he’s been a player and that he’s had a part in all the big moves. Smart.

Kass thinks she has a better chance against Woo than Tony. Seconded.

To this, Tony replies, “Oh snap.”

Voting Time: Kass votes for Spencer, Spencer votes for Woo, and the rest of the votes are none of our darn business…until a little later.

Probst tallies and returns. You know how he does.

Before the votes are read, Tony shares the real rules of the idol, admitting that he’s going home if he has three votes. Such a good narrator.

We’ve got one vote for Spencer, one vote for Woo, one vote for Spencer, and the fifteenth person to be eliminated from “Survivor: Cagayan” and the eighth member of the jury is…Spencer.

Gah…heck of a game, Spencer Spencer the Pain Dispenser.

It’s high fives all around at camp, but they’re all bummed that there’s a final three. Well, Kass isn’t too bummed because she’s everyone’s pick to take to the end.

Later on, she tells Woo that she’s going to take him to the end if she wins. He says he’ll take her too. He then says he’d be stupid to take Tony to the end. Well, at least Woo is better at this than Colby.

Immunity Challenge Time: Players will race out into the world’s biggest maze in the search of medallions. Once they have them all, they’ll use cogs to create a contraption that will raise a flag. First person to raise their flag gets to take Kass to the end of the game.

The challenge starts off and there isn’t much to describe except for maze navigatin’. Tony and Woo are pretty much following each other. Kass is blazing her own path.

Woo is the first one out with all four medallions. Tony is right behind him. Eventually Kass joins them.

Woo finally figures it out to win immunity, literally a second in front of Kass. Wow. Epic challenge.

Kass seems really sad for someone who thinks she’s aligned with Woo.

Quick Aside: I’m going to give Kass credit for how hard she’s competed this episode. She really stepped up.

Another Quick Aside: Tony’s not so good at the puzzles, is he?

Back at camp, Woo and Tony go for a stroll. Tony tells Woo that he should go with the loyalty he learned through martial arts and take him to the end. Not bad.

Kass reminds Woo that Tony wants to get to the end with her because she’s beatable. She says he’s like Fabio from “Survivor: Nicaragua” because he hasn’t upset anyone.

“Survivor: Nicaragua”? Never heard of it.

She then says that Tony made the moves and the jury knows it. Solid argument.

Seriously, Woo’s best bet is taking Kass. We all agree on this, right?

That night at Tribal Council, Woo is happy to be in the final two. Thanks for the heads up on that one, Woo.

Woo also thinks Tony voted out Spencer because he was being loyal. That’s one way of looking at it.

Tony is glad that he stuck with Woo. He was loyal to Woo, he hopes Woo is loyal back.

Kass feels sick because she doesn’t have control over her own fate. She also thinks Woo keeping Tony could cost him the money.

Probst asks Woo to break down Tony and Kass’s pitches, Woo declines and says he just wants to vote.

Voting Time: No votes are shown, cause there’s just the one. You know…for the drama.

J-Pro gets the vote…cause you don’t tally one vote. The sixteenth person to be eliminated from “Survivor: Cagayan” and the final member of the jury is…Kass.

OK, so Woo isn’t better at this than Colby Donaldson.

What’s the sound of a million dollars flying out the window? Wooooooooooooo…

Anywho, it’s all hugs and kisses back at camp. Tony should buy Woo something pretty when this is all over. Although, CBS rules might not let him.

Woo says he made that move because the jury will respect it. Yes, while they’re shaking their heads and smacking themselves on the forehead.

The next morning they’re greeted by the day 39 feast…and a clue. Tony snags the clue…and fortunately it doesn’t lead him to his 100th idol. It just leads to a mirror and a scale.

Later on, Tony tells us he hopes he can win so he can buy a pink chandelier. So, it’s a marriage vs. a pink chandelier. This show is weird sometimes.

Oh wait, Woo wants to help his disabled mother with the money. That’s much better.

That night at Tribal Council, we learn the jurors did not kill Kass.

Tony wants to tell the truth for all of the moves he made. He says it was nothing emotional, just strategy. He also thanks Woo for giving him the shot. Not bad.

Woo said it was a game of lies and he did his best to honor his codes of conduct. Oh…that’s never good. Everyone always thinks everyone lied. Own it.

Then, Woo says his mother was an inspiration to him through her heart attack. Am I a jerk for thinking that was a ploy for a sympathy vote?

Sarah bats lead off. She gives Tony grief for swearing on his badge. She then asks Woo who he’d vote for between Tony and her. Woo says he’d vote for her.

Jefra says she’s not bitter, but she wants Tony to own his game. She then rips into him. OK, so Jefra doesn’t know what ‘bitter’ means.

Tony says he didn’t backstab her because she was targeting him. He admits thinks he was a good player and half a villain. I can’t wait till he returns on “Heroes vs. Half-Villains.”

Morgan thinks it’s fitting she was on the beauty tribe. Aww…never change, Morgan. She wants to know how Tony kept men loyal without breasts. He says he offered people food and water and did everything he could to keep them.

I didn’t hear anything after “breasts.”

Morgan then says she respects Woo’s move.

Jeremiah doesn’t like that Tony swore on his wife and kids. However, he’s cool with it if Tony doesn’t have a wife and kids. Tony admits that he does. Doh…

Tasha wants to know how Tony kept people loyal. Tony says he explained all his big moves to his people. And if they lied to him, they were gone. He then says Trish never did anything wrong.

She then asks Woo why he aligned with Tony. Woo says he was the odd man out, so he had to adapt to the game.

LJ asks Tony, “Who are you?” Tony says he was afraid of LJ and that’s why he got rid of him.

Kass thinks Woo gave the power back to Tony after finally wrestling it away. Woo says he kept Tony because he’s trying to be honorable.

Kass thinks Tony deserves the money more than Woo does. Woo doesn’t think Kass deserved to be there.

Trish wants to know whose idea it was to blindside her. Woo says it was his because they couldn’t beat her.

She then goes right off on Tony. She says that nobody trusted him, they only trusted her. She then gets really upset because Tony swore on his father’s grave.

She asks if it was worth it to him to swear on his father’s grave to win a million dollars. He says, “Yes.”

Cold blooded, Tony.

Spencer finishes it up, telling Woo that he’s like a dog. He says that Tony was Woo’s master and that he had a shot to take the biggest goat in “Survivor” history to the end.

Woo says it isn’t honorable to take a goat. Spencer disagrees.

He doesn’t ask Tony any questions. He does, however, tell the jury that Tony played much harder than Woo. He also says Tony was responsible for all the big moves. He begs the jury to vote for Tony.

Ooo…Redemption Island flashback.

I’ve got to admit, this wasn’t the slam dunk I thought it’d be. Woo stayed the course with his honorable talk which I’m not a fan of. Tony fumbled a bit. He should have owned his villain-hood.

Voting Time: Spencer votes for Tony, Tasha votes for Woo…and no other votes are shown.

So…Tony 8, Woo 1? They would’ve shown more votes if it was closer.

We meet up with J-Pro back in Los Angeles. We’ve got one vote for Tony, one vote for Woo, three votes for Tony, and the winner of “Survivor: Cagayan” is…Tony.

Verdict: An amazing season stuck the landing with the right winner. I’ve got nothing else to say about it. Awesome.

Power Rankings Results: I totally won. Special thanks to Ciera Eastin for being a fantastic competitor this season.

Also: Check back tomorrow for exit interviews with Tony, Woo, Kass, and Spencer!

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes