Can’t Stop Watching: ‘AHS: Coven’s’ Witches Should Visit ‘Oprah’s Lifeclass’

by | January 16, 2014 at 4:53 PM | American Horror Story: Coven, Black Entertainment, Can't Stop Watching

Besties? (L-R) Jessica Lange as Fiona and Angela Bassett as Marie in "American Horror Story: Coven." (Photo: FX/ Michele K. Short)

SPOILER ALERT

Watching “American Horror Story: Coven” I can’t help but think that these are the saddest bunch of witches I’ve ever seen. If you’ve been following my posts about “Coven,” then you’re familiar with my constantly asking, “What type of witches are these?” For them to have “special gifts” they seem like most people walking the planet: unaware of their power. From Fiona Goode and Cordelia Foxx’s ignorance that the latter’s husband was a witch hunter to none of the witches realizing that “maid” Delphine LaLaurie added feces to their dinner (gross!)–even the witches’ council members didn’t foresee their demise–my questioning seems pretty warranted. 

Don’t get me wrong, we’ve seen the residents of Miss Robichaux’s Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies display some awesome magic, including Fiona, Madison Montgomery and  Marie’s exquisite display of telekinesis along with Misty Day and now Queenie’s power of resurgence. But it’s very spotty. In the most recent episode, “Protect the Coven,” a few things occurred to support my analysis. 

Marie Laveau seems off her game. In earlier episodes, we see her displaying her power and taking care of business. Now she seems like a weaker form of herself. I mean, she didn’t even sense Delphine’s murder attempt by drugging her with Benadryl to make her mortal nor did she sense deceased butler Spalding’s spirit lurking about. While the Benadryl itself was ineffective, Spalding was able to knock her unconscious and told Delphine to basically bury her alive. Sucks to be her!

Somebody, anybody, please send Cordelia to “Oprah’s Lifeclass” because this chick has major self-esteem and mama issues! I get it, your mother is a powerful, egomaniacal deviant who’s done nothing but crap on you your whole life. And then you marry a jerk assigned to obliterate you and your kind. It’s rough, but still, no excuse for continued suffering. C’mon, you’re a witch, and if you can search for fertility spells then surely you can muster something together for self-esteem. And, my dear, I believe, like you stated, if you experienced something before you can do it again. So why gouge your eyes out to recover the power of psychometry when you probably had it all along? And how are you going to protect the coven when you can barely protect yourself? Tragic.

I understand that Miss Robichaux’s isn’t the safest place for any witch nowadays and that the coven is essentially a danger to itself (One of the reasons Myrtle Snow told Zoe Benson to jump ship). But these witches need to get in tune with their unique gifts. One of the biggest missteps they make, in my humble opinion, is that they bought into the idea of a supreme witch. We see Fiona desperately clutching the title, the older witches looking for the next one and the younger girls vying to be it. There’s only one supreme witch because they believe so. Maybe they’ll realize that they all could be the next supreme. Now, that would be magical. Otherwise, they all should visit “Lifeclass” or “Iyanla: Fix My Life.”

Want to learn the origins of Delphine’s sadistic behavior, how the meeting with the witch hunters went and the real reason behind Spalding helping Delphine? Check out the latest episode of “Coven” below or catch up on past episodes here.

Watch “American Horror Story: Coven” episode 9, “Protect the Coven”

 

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.