“Oh, this is bloody child’s play,” Carlton exclaimed with disdain at the luncheon from bloody hell. Yup. The juvenile delinquents were turning out in full measure on Monday night’s “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,” and no surprise, Brandi was the ring leader as she whined about the paparazzi calling her a “bully” in front of her children—with Kyle allegedly being behind the infamous b-word.
While different cast members ended up having beef with each other, it was amid a backdrop of chicken legs flailing about on trapezes at Cirque School of all places! (Don’t ask. It was Kim’s idea.) Aside from Yolanda getting into it with Kim, Joyce added to the ridonculosity of the day by confronting Lisa about rude hair flicking. Pageant queen dramaaaa. Wahhh!
See how the ladies physically banded and emotionally disbanded in the circus ring:
For reasons only she could make sense of in her brain, Kim decides to bring the backstabbing gang together for a lovely day filled with spreading their legs, sliding over gigantic balls, and rolling around on the ground…
We know, we know; it sure sounds like just another day in Brandi’s room(!), but no, this time the noted activities were in reference to Cirque School, where any woman has the opportunity to trade in her mammaries for muscular chesticles!
For some reason, Kim sees the recreation of doing circus acrobatics as a way for all the ladies to forget they all hate each other, but Brandi has no interest in faux peace. Once she arrives, she immediately begins complaining to Yolanda and Kim that the paparazzi had chased her down the other day while she was with her sons and told her that Kyle had called her a bully.
Calling herself a “girl’s girl,” Brandi claims she had actually wanted to give Kyle a heads up that the gossip mags were going to publish a bunch of stories about Mauricio’s alleged affairs. In Brandi’s defensive mind, though, Kyle had decidedly turned on her and started telling the press that Brandi was a bully for bothering her with the unsavory rumors in the first place.
Blah, blah, says Kim to Brandi’s complaining. Let’s just be happy and do splits and show off our extra foot-gripping abilities thanks to our mega bunions(!), so Kim essentially tells her. But Yolanda sides with the asymmetrical-faced blond just to stick it to Kim, whom she hasn’t been on the best of terms with since the reunion.
Once the rest of the girls arrive, the tension builds plumper than Lisa’s lip injections. Yolanda tells Kim to chill out on her “let’s just all get along” speech, while Brandi is stink-facing Kyle to no end.
Despite the endorphins released as the women go around the studio doing flips, dips, splits, and hops, Brandi can’t shut her trap about how upset she is that she was called a bully in front of her children. Finally, Kyle walks up to her and tells her she didn’t call her a bully or leak anything to the press. “Well then, tell my kids,” says Brandi. Kyle rolls her eyes.
As the ladies go for a lunch break, Brandi sounds like a broken record. “It just sucks to be called a bully in front of my children,” she says, refusing to take off her sunglasses because she’s cool like that.
“Then talk to the paparazzi,” retorts Kyle, who again says she didn’t say squat to the press.
Lisa jumps in and suggests that Kyle just tweet something to discredit the bully rumors, but Kyle basically tells Lisa to shove it. Besides, Kyle has bigger fish to fry—like saving the reputation of her marriage, stank you very much…
As Brandi and Kyle go at it, Joyce suddenly pops up and pulls Lisa aside, completely discombobulating the Brit. Tossing her Amazonian mane to one side, Joyce tells Lisa she was rude for dismissing Joyce’s help in removing a piece of hair off her face at Carlton’s luncheon. Say whaaaat?
Lisa blinks in incredulity as Joyce demands an apology for Hair Flicking Gate. In justifying her hurt feelings, the beauty queen adds that both Yolanda and Brandi had reassured her that day that Lisa likes to correct but doesn’t like to be corrected—not even if it’s a stray hair!
“When I’m on my period, I’m a total b*tch,” Joyce says with a menacing face.
“So you’re on your period now?” Brandi jabs. Lisa chuckles.
Ruh. Roh. Here we go again…