An all-new fourth season of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” is premiering tonight on Bravo (8/7c), and with it comes shocking accusations of adultery and blackmail, broken bonds, a new showing of breast implants, and the dark arts!
With Taylor Armstrong and Adrienne Maloof out of the picture, two newbies take their places: architectural designer Carlton Gebbia and former pageant queen Joyce Giraud de Ohoven.
As a run up to the season premiere, we came up with eight reasons you should watch…and guess what! None of them consist of getting plastic surgery tips from the cast!
1. Out With the Dark, In With the Light. Taylor Armstrong’s dark storyline is finally over. Not to be harsh, but her ousting from the show was inevitable after her late-husband Russell committed suicide in 2011. With her dark cloud of death, abuse, (and, frankly, a bad case of man-made lips) no longer a presence, the show will be able to resurrect more of the lighthearted, juvenile, mean-girl cat-fighting that it was created for.
2. No More Love on Acid. The caustic relationship between Adrienne and Paul and their public denial over their surrogacy were both very HAIRY subjects we didn’t need to see on reality television…and we’re not even referring to Paul’s fir tree of a back or Adrienne’s aluminum foil “hair bling.”
Watch highlights from the upcoming season:
3. Carlton Gebbia and Her Witch’s Brew. Apparently, there are some “Housewives” who are quite uncomfortable with Carlton’s Wiccan practices and end up being quite vocal about it. Expect
wands voices to be raised and a whole lot of fury from the Queen of Goth!
4. An Affair to Forget. Rumors abound this season that Kyle’s hunk of a hubby, Mauricio, is playing the field, and it brings Kyle into a tizzy when some of the “Housewives” insinuate there may be truth to the gossip! Not only that, but could there also be blackmail involved in the scandal?
5. Brandi’s Love for the Ladies. Move over Camille Grammer, Brandi’s getting kissy with Carlton who’s apparently cast a spell on her! (Just so you know, orange women are so in these days.)
Meet Carlton and Her Goth Crib:
6. Brandi and Lisa’s Falling Out. “I just f**king checkmated you, b*tch.” So says Brandi when she confronts Lisa about her some of her shady dealings. Ouch! You’d think these two besties would never betray each other, but when their quarrel has something to do with Brandi’s ex Eddie Cibrian, Brandi doesn’t play nice—not even to her richer and more socially powerful Brit bud.
7. Latina Gone Loco. New gal Joyce Giraud de Ohoven is bringing some spice to the West Coast! Although she’s previously confessed she thought she and Kyle would butt heads, another Housewife becomes the bane of her pageant-queen existence. But watch out! This competitive Puerto Rican beauty won’t be politically correct in saying how she really feels!
8. “Shut up, Ken!” Their patience has run out: Kim and Yolanda practically b*tch slap Lisa’s hubby, crotchety Ken, this season. But thank god Ken has his hair to shield him.
“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” return Monday night at 8/7c on Bravo.