“The Best Year of My Life” theme on “Dancing with the Stars” this week seemed to include too many weddings and children, which left a noticeable taste of sickly sweet cotton candy in my mouth. But no matter, because our week four elimination was right around the corner and high time to find out if our sick puppy (and I don’t mean Giggy!) Lisa Vanderpump would be sent crying back to “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” or Victor Ortizwould find out how few boxing fans actually watch “DWTS.”
Lisa and Victor tied for the low score on Monday night, with a miserable 18 out of 30 points. And after a fainting spell in rehearsal and barely being able to get through her cha cha cha, Lisa looked like she was on the ropes more than Victor on Tuesday. Even though I thought Victor was a much better dancer than Lisa, I felt he would go home.
Surely the older women who watch “DWTS” in huge numbers would vote for Lisa, 52, after we had already seen Wynonna Judd, 48, get eliminated and Dorothy Hamill, 56, have to pull out due to injury. Time for a guy to leave the ballroom!
Four couples were declared safe right off the bat: Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas, Zendaya Coleman and Val Chmerkovskiy, Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough, and Ingo Rademacher and Kym Johnson. Who would get the encore dance? Gymnast Aly got the honor for a reprise of her contemporary dance with Mark.
“DWTS” unfurled its backstage footage from the previous night and Karina Smirnoff was shown starting too early in her dance with Jacoby Jones. Missed that boo boo last time! Then the pair was told they’d been voted through to next week. Bachelor Sean Lowe and Peta Murgatroyd were very disappointed after their waltz – however, they, too were safe to perform again!
Next came a goofy comedy segment that joked Bruno Tonioli has a head writer behind the scenes, coming up with all his best lines. Whoa, at first I thought they were serious! Host Tom Bergeron intervened and told us, to be clear, Bruno doesn’t have a secret writer. Right. Who could possibly channel our wacky Bruno?
Brad Paisley was on hand to perform his single, “Southern Comfort Zone,” followed by one of the most touching exhibition dances ever on the show, Derek Hough performing with a blind girl. Brilynn Rakes, 17, was thrilled to be dueting with Derek, whom she can barely see on her favorite show. Dancing to the song “Stars,” Briynn and Derek performed a routine that was more ballet than we’ve ever seen on the show. Everyone was moved backstage by the lyrical dance and Derek was so choked up that he could barely talk to Tom about the experience.
The blind dancer was followed by a blind singer. Ooof, that was terrible and I would surely burn in hell. But it was true, as blind tenor Andrea Bocelli performed his song “Quizas, Quizas, Quizas” with Jennifer Lopez. The song was beautiful and JLo was refreshingly low key here.
Lisa told Brooke Burke-Charvet how hard it was to dance the previous night. D.L. Hughley joked to the hostess he had saved “DWTS” a ton on spray tan. Backstage footage from Monday showed Andy Dick telling his daughter, “I didn’t fall on my face,” after his waltz in her honor. Judge Len Goodman exhorted D.L. to give it his best shot and the comedian admitted after doing a decent job how much he really cared.
The Lisa drama from last night got a retread, too, of course. “She’s in her trailer vomiting,” Gleb Savchenko told the other dancers about the real housewife on Monday before their scheduled cha cha cha. TMI! But they hit the floor and got through it in best “show must go on” fashion.
D.L. and partner Cheryl Burke found out they were safe, meaning Victor, Andy, and Lisa were in the bottom three this week. After the commercial break, however, we found out Andy was safe and there were relieved noises in the press area. As I had expected, Lisa and Victor were in the bottom two.
Who was leaving the ballroom? It was Lisa leaving tonight! I felt sorry for the Real Housewife who had struggled so hard last night. There was her dog Giggy mourning in the audience! Lisa said it was the hardest thing she had ever done in her life. She was a gracious lady and we reporters would miss her.