Colin Sweeney returns for a particularly ribald episode of “The Good Wife,” “The Wheels of Justice.” Non-standard sex acts are discussed. Alicia has an erotic dream. Read on for more of the dirty fun.
Colin Sweeney is Back: Creepy Colin Sweeney (Dylan Baker) is in trouble with the law again. He is accused of firing a gun at a wild party he hosted. Normally, that would be a misdemeanor, but because of his history, the State Attorney’s office wants to press felony charges. Laura (Amanda Peet) is opposing counsel. This show has tried so hard to make Laura happen even though she is one of the least interesting characters on their canvas. If Will (Josh Charles) is going to date a prosecutor, why not Geneva? Lockhart-Gardner suspects that they are going after Colin so Peter will look tough on crime. If they delay until after the election, they can plead down to disorderly conduct. The strategy is to delay until after the election do state won’t appear soft on crime.
The Canoe: Diane (Christine Baranski) tells Cary (Matt Czuchry) that a partner will probably leave in six months, not mentioning that she is the one who plans to depart. He can prove his value by interviewing and hiring a new associate.The first one is a Harvard graduate who fulfills every stereotype: smug, brags a lot, mentions he built a canoe. So he shall be known as the douche canoe. Cary realizes from the douche canoe’s discussion of the work he is doing as a State Supreme Court clerk that Illinois is about to legalize a Three Strikes law. That means Colin could spend the rest of his life in prison if convicted. Instead of delaying the case, they need to go to court immediately.
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Kalinda Reads Vampire Diaries Fan-Fiction: Diane asks Kalinda (Archie Panjabi) to do a background check on her so she can decide whether to go after the judgeship Peter offered her. The first thing Kalinda uncovers is that Diane writers”Vampire Diaries” fan fiction. Really. She reads a story that was written on Diane’s computer out loud with gusto. Diane seems to be a Delena shipper. Unfortunately, Diane is not a closet CW fan. Her housekeeper has been using her computer. Kalinda recommends firing her. Instead, she ought to start watching the show with her housekeeper. She’s missing out!
Marry Me: Will suggests they use Diane’s old flame Kurt (Gary Cole) as a ballistics expert in the Colin Sweeney case. They immediately start flirting again. When Kalinda discovers that Diane’s father named names to the House Unamerican Activities Committee back in the McCarthy era, leading to the blacklisting of a family friend, she is devastated. Diane confides in Kurt then proposes marriage! The words seem to stumble out of her mouth without her realizing. She almost immediately takes it back. Then Kalinda shows her video of Kurt saying he thinks states should secede over gun control. She advises Diane to end whatever relationship she has with him. She and Kurt have a conversation about how they should wait for the right time to get serious, which, given their age is fairly ridiculous. hen Diane, seemingly choosing love over becoming a judge, says she doesn’t want to wait.
Sweeny Gets Off Again: Colin is actually innocent this time. His current fiance Isobel (Morena Baccarin), who previously used contraceptive fraud to conceive his child, testifies that at the time of the shooting they were having anal sex. She uses those words. Then she changes her story, claiming they were doing it in the room where the gun was fired, because she is upset that he wants her to sign a pre-nup. fortunately, Kurt finds physical evidence that proves Colin could not have fired the gun. The judge dismisses the felony but sentences him to thirty days in jail for disorderly conduct. Since Colin decided against the prenup, Isobel not only vows to wait for him, she offers him her panties as a memento.
Alicia Has a Sexy Dream About Will: Will is reluctant to serve as co-counsel in the Sweeney case because he is dating Laura.Sweeney says, “I love this place. Everyone sleeps with everyone else.” Laura asks Alicia (Julianna Margulies) if she had a relationship with Will. She says it was over a long time ago. She’s happy they are dating. Then she is struck by lightning and her nose grows three inches.
Alicia dreams that she is having sex with Will. Her bod morphs into Laura’s. I have seen that exact scene, with less artsy direction, on at least three daytime soaps. Watch the steamy fantasy here.
After the trial, Alicia drinks wine in bed. She calls Will under the pretense that she has a question about work, but hears Laura in the background. She quickly ends the call. Laura, realizing that Will and Alicia are far from over, ends her week long relationship with Will, claiming she has gotten back together with her ex George Glass who lives in Niagara Falls. It’s a smart move on her part, but given how often they all run into each other, she may have to scrounge up someone to pretend to be this guy.