‘Revenge’: The Million Dollar Whine

by | January 14, 2013 at 10:12 AM | Recap, Revenge

Nick Wechsler of 'Revenge' (Photo: ABC)

“Sabotage” is a great Beastie Boys song but a boring episode of “Revenge.” Nothing really happened except for one reveal about a peripheral character. Bring back the red sharpie! It opens with what appears to be a masked Aiden pointing a gun at a seemingly dead man, then flashes back two days. Here are the highlights.

Hey, This Company You’ve Never Heard of Before Is Really Important, Okay?

Helen from the Initiative wants Daniel (Josh Bowman) to buy a company named Stonehaven. Emanda (Emily VanCamp), who agreed to run Grayson’s charitable foundation in the previous episode, listens in on the their phone call as Helen mentions tipping him off about NolCorp’s sketchy financial history. Emanda tells him she wants Grayson Global to get involved with charity to help foster kids. She wants to invite their investors to a wine auction. Then she phones Victoria (Madeline Stowe), who asks Emanda to invite Jason Prosser (Dylan Walsh), a financier who is Conrad’s never-before-mentioned rival, to the charity auction. She claims he will drive up the bidding. Maybe she really wants a free “Nip/Tuck.”

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At the wine auction, Nolan reveals he can use his NolPad to control all the wiring in the building. There is a massive bidding war. Daniel wins, purchasing a bottle of wine for $1 million dollars, because alcohol is his one true love. Aiden (Barry Sloane) tells Helen he wants to see his sister. He agrees he is at her service. Helen introduces herself to Emily. We learn she does not drink, which may be relevant later. She makes a donation to Emanda’s charity project.

Daniel says he is not impressed with Stonehaven. Helen tells him he will regret not buying it. When Aiden and Helen are in an elevator, it fills with smoke. A masked figure ties them up, blindfolds them, and asks about their interest in Stonehaven. Of course, Nolan (Gabriel Mann) and Emanda have set the whole thing up. After an apparent gunfight, Aiden seemingly rescues Helen.

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Victoria tells a flirtatious Jason that Daniel plans to acquire Stonehaven. Jason phones an associate and says he wants to acquire the company. This would be much more interesting if we knew what this company did, beyond a vague description that it is a crisis-management firm.

After Emanda’s big action stunt, she shares the million dollar wine with Daniel. The wine has gone bad. It would be more interesting if it were poisoned. Aiden drops by to collect “his things.” Emanda gives him a duffel bag that presumably contains her catsuit and mask. So, absolutely nothing happened in either Emanda and Daniel’s or Emanda and Aiden’s relationship over the course of this episode.

Padma Gets a Purpose

Padma tells Nolan she is okay with being demoted and wants to come back to work. Marco (E.J. Bonilla) walks in on them almost kissing. Nolan invites Padma to the wine auction. After their date, she shows him email proof that Marco was ratting out all of NolCorps’ secrets to Daniel, including the existence of the Carrie-Ann virus. Marco protests he didn’t send it, but Nolan fires him. It turns out that Padma is working for Helen. Since nobody liked Padma, this is not particularly shocking. Just let Nolan figure it out, so he can go back to his ambiguous relationship with Emanda.

Conrad Bails Out Jack

Jack (Nick Wechsler) fills in Amily (Margarita Leveiva) on how he ended up in jail. He doesn’t want to ask Emanda for bail because that would mean integrating his storyline with the rest of the characters. Amily suggests Charlotte (Christa B. Allen) go to her parents for help. Conrad (Henry Czerny) refuses to pay Jack’s bail and asks Amily to stay away. Ashley (Ashley Madekewe), who has managed to get Conrad to hire her again, tells him he is missing an opportunity because Conrad suddenly has political ambitions. Amily buys a gun. She is about to pull it on Nate Ryan when Ashley informs her that Jack is home. Conrad called a judge and got his bail reduced. He plans to expose police corruption to bolster his image. Saving Jack is a side benefit. Can’t Nolan invent an app that will make the Ryan brothers disappear?