This week, on “The Vampire Diaries,” everyone goes back to high school. Because even if you’re immortal with all sorts of cool powers, you still care about homecoming and prom. Plus, if you’re alive for a 1000 years, you might actually find a practical use for trigonometry.
Elena (Nina Dobrev) is still drinking from Matt (Zach Roerig). They meet at their old make-out spot which is kind of kinky. She goes back to school, both to avoid suspicion and because she wants to finish her senior year. Stefan (Paul Wesley) and Rebekah (Claire Holt) have also returned to school even though the look like they’re 30. The town has instituted a curfew in response to the shooting at last week’s memorial service. Rebekah decides to throw a Break the Curfew party now that she has her own place. When Rebekah makes a crack about Elena, Elena throws a pencil at her. Rebekah catches it and throws it back so hard that it embeds in Elena’s shoulder. While Elena cleans up in the bathroom, Rebekah sends in a girl she has compelled and bitten so Elena will be tempted by her dripping blood. Elena is freaked out by her desire to murder Rebekah. Stefan convinces Elena to cut the rest of the day so they can have some fun together. Elena tells Stefan she is going home to change but actually goes to Damon’s bedroom, ostensibly so she can have some of his high quality alcohol but really to find the White Oak Stake so she can kill Rebekah. Damon, onto her, starts undressing to get her to leave.
Has “Vampire Diaries” ever mentioned werewolf venom before? It has been established that werewolf bites kill vampires, but this week we learn that their venom can be extracted, like a snake’s. In the hospital, Connor (Todd Williams), the vampire hunter, sneaks into Tyler’s (Michael Trevino) room and injects a paralytic drug into his gums (eew), then extracts his wolf venom. Klaus (Joseph Morgan) returns to protect Tyler since he has so few hybrids left. He assigns him two hybrid body guards. Hayley (Phoebe Tonkin), an Appalachian werewolf who helped him break the sire bond last season during the episodes he was not on the show, comes to visit him. She is flirtatious and pleased that Tyler is rich. Klaus thinks Tyler has a thing for her. Klaus goads Tyler about the sexual frustration he must have felt while he was breaking the sire bond. Tyler tells him to shut up. Klaus realizes that Tyler did cheat and Caroline has no idea.
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Connor lives in a trailer. He has what appears to be a prop mad scientist chemistry set from a Halloween party, which he is using to do whatever one does to process werewolf venom. He has files on Elena and Jeremy (Steven R. McQueen). Connor shows up at the high school, which has not instituted any security measures to stop strange adults from roaming its halls, and introduces himself to Jeremy. He tells him that his tattoo is a vampire hunter’s mark. Only other potential hunters can see it. He offers to train him in exchange for information about Mystic Falls vampires.
Rebekah invites Matt to her party. She makes a half-assed apology for running him off the road and nearly killing him last season. Connor rips off Matt’s bandage and asks who he is letting feed on him. He gives up Rebekah. Nice move, Matt, both in terms of making her life hell and sending Connor after a nearly indestructible Original.
Jeremy, who is in cahoots with Damon, tells him that Meredith (Torrey DeVitto) is using vampire blood to treat people at the hospital. Connor tells Jeremy that he laced the keg at Rebekah’s party with werewolf venom so it will kill vampires.
Damon finds Connor’s trailer. It’s booby trapped, and he gets shot with some difficult to remove arrows. He calls Meredith who is apparently still in town, to remove them. Damon shows her the letter that the Pastor wrote to April, which is in the trailer.
At the hospital, Connor sees Meredith with a bandage on her neck. When he follows her to the storage room, he gets caught in a booby trap and finds himself face to face with Damon and Klaus. They quiz him about the pastor’s letter. He claims there is someone else waiting to take his place if they kill him. Damon mentions the disappearing tattoo. Klaus snatches a stake from Connor’s hand, notices the symbol on it and calls him “The Five.” When Connor tries to escape, the room blows up. Meredith tells Damon to repair his relationship with Stefan and Elena because she won’t be his partner in crime again.
At Rebekah’s party, Stefan gives Elena a beer. Before she takes a sip, she notices April (Grace Phipps). April tells Elena she doesn’t think the explosion was an accident. Rebekah interrupts them. Elena asks Rebekah if she blew up the cabin. Rebekah, offended, takes Elena’s ring and throws it down the garbage disposal. Elena starts to burn from sunlight through the window. Elena manages to retrieve her ring. Elena pulls the white oak stake out of her bag, lying that Damon gave it to her. Stefan tells her he won’t stop her from killing Rebekah, but if she does, thousands of vampires all over the world will die because she is an Original. He offers to take her on a motorcycle ride so she can blow off her steam. She gives him the stake. On her way out, to spite Rebekah, Elena does a keg stand. Suddenly, Rebekah, who drank the tainted beer, starts to get sick.
Stefan and Elena hit the road on his motorcycle. It’s kind of hilarious that they are wearing helmets since they are immortal. I guess it’s a good PSA. Elena stands up on the seat doing her best impression of Aereosmith’s “Crazy” video. Then she and Stefan go back to Casa Salvatore and start to have sex but then Elena has a vision of Damon’s face and pushes him off. Elena realizes she has ingested werewolf venom. She hallucinates Damon saying she is more like him than Stefan. Stefan asks Klaus to heal her. Klaus agrees cryptically saying that he may need her again. She drinks from him.
Matt finds a sick Rebekah. He tells her he thinks she is amazing. In 100 years, she has managed to learn nothing and screw everything up. He says she doesn’t deserve love. It’s a hallucination, of course. After the party, April stays behind to clean up. Rebekah offers to help her investigate the explosion, happy that she finally has a friend.
Stefan asks Caroline to help Elena experience the fun parts of being a vampire. He is scared that if he does, he’ll be tempted to become The Ripper again. Caroline says she is good at being a vampire because of Stefan.
Matt apologizes to Elena for not warning her about the beer at the party. She drinks way too much of Matt’s blood. Damon shows up at the last second to save him. Elena is freaked out and apologetic. Damon compels Matt to forget then tells Elena that he is going to teach her the right way to be a vampire.
Connor wakes up in his trailer to find Klaus watching him. Klaus tells him he saved him because is now worth more alive than dead. Connor asks what he means when he said Connor was one of the five. Klaus realizes Connor doesn’t know his own history, saying enigmatically that it makes him the most protected vampire hunter in town.