The finale of the “Real Housewives of Orange County” ultimately revealed that friendships change. In a nutshell, Heather’s naming party was a bipolar-ific mess—one moment everyone was cackling like witches and drinking wine and the next moment they were tearing each other new badonka donk holes. But besides the multi-storied soap opera, what managed to be the biggest surprise of the show? The fact that during the closing credits, we discovered Jimbo and Alexis are opening up a trampoline park. Say a prayer for them, will ya?
Here are the other hellish highlights:
As Sarah stumbles around confused and complaining about being rejected for Cake-Gate, she finds an unamused Heather and decides to attack her for being a meanie hostess.
“It’s time for the Sarah chapter to go!” Heather screams and ousts her out the door.
“Over a piece of cake?! You know what, they are bad people!” screams Sarah to her friend as she belches to her car.
Jim surprises everyone by showing up to the party, and chin implants all over The OC rejoice! When he sees Heather’s hubby Terry in the crowd, he tells him he’ll have words with him another day for calling his fake wife “phony.” Alexis butts in and says the situation is awkward, but Jim puts her in her subservient place. “Are you wearing the pants?” he threatens.
Jim takes Terry aside and confronts him about the phony comment, but Heather swoops in to protect her man, which makes Jim quietly freak out that the lower gender dare speaketh to him without asking for his permission. He’s also offended she has natural lips. Tamra sees the action and pulls up a chair to join in, but Jim isn’t having the gang gang up on him again! He runs off, and Alexis flees after him. “He wants to control the truth,” Terry says.
The rest of the crew all end up sitting together at the table. Out of jealousy over Tamra and Gretchen’s new bracelet-wearing BFF-dom, Vicki toasts an absent Alexis, which makes Tamra roll her eyeballs. Perhaps because his new bleached veneers are blinding his vision, Brooks interprets Tamra’s response as giving Vicki “the evil eye.”
“Really? Do you want to go there?” he threatens Tam-Tam. Of course, this makes Tamra go bonkers, and she starts throwing F-bombs at Brooks for what she thinks is a total lie…but she sticks it to Vicki, too, since Miss Piggy is telling her to calm down.
“Relax, Vicki, instead of him telling you what to think,” Tamra screams sarcastically. And that’s when Vicki loses her oinker.
“He doesn’t tell me what to think everrrr!!!” Vicki blasts. She, along with her faux fur, and Brooks walk off…but of course, Tasmanian Devil Tamra ain’t done!
She runs after Vicki, but the latter unleashes her Muppet fury: “You’re supposed to be my friend!!! I would never speak that way to Eddie! You be quiet now! I’m not scared of you—you need to apologize to me—you cause problems!!!” Seeing Vicki flip out, Brooks’ teeth fall out.
Tamra tearfully trembles, while Briana later comforts her and says that her mom is a freak-fest in denial.
Pretending that nothing unpleasant has happened, Heather gathers everyone together and makes a Girl Scout toast. Vicki makes an additional toast and gets gangsta on everyone by saying Brooks is her man and they can just eat it if they don’t like her gold digger. Everyone falls silent.
“Tamra can go have her fun with Gretchen; she just lost me,” Vicki tells the camera.
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