For Tamra, Gretchen, and Vicki, love was in the air on Tuesday’s “Real Housewives of Orange County,” but Gretch didn’t want a ring on it from Slade until he got his act together, while Vicki opted to purchase teeth for Brooks. Ah, l’amour. Thankfully, for Tamra’s sake, she ended up getting exactly what she wanted: a proposal by her Sir Monstrous Torso Man, Eddie-Boo.
Right after returning from the dysfunctional jaunt in Costa Rica, Tam-Tam is swept away by her younger man, and they fly out to Bora Bora, where she nervously wonders if this is big sparkly time!
Once the lovebirds land on the island and sit down for dinner, Tamra, dressed in virginal white, awaits for him to pop the question, but Eddie is apparently focused on pummeling food in his hamster cheeks to store for the upcoming winter.
“Is the ring in the meat? Is the ring in the drink? Is the ring in his pocket?!” Tamra wonders.
Watch Tamra squirm in her seat as she waits for Eddie to spill his love beans:
Unfortunately, Eddie doesn’t perform as Tam had hoped for and actually manages to say the opposite of what she wants to hear: He tells her he’s not a traditional guy, and why not just move in together and skip the marriage part!
Snarling with disappointment, Tamra calls it a night. “Can we go back to the room now?” she asks.
But by the next day, she decides to shake off her disappointment just like she did her Double D’s and simply enjoy their scuba diving excursion. The two pick up clams at the bottom of the ocean and use Eddie’s voluptuous chesticles to float them back up to the surface.
Once they’re back at the hotel, he teaches her how to open the clams and saves the most lovely one for last. She opens it, and BAM! A ginormous diamond blinds her squinty eyeballs!
“Will you marry me?” he asks. She snorts for air, breaks down, and has mini seizures of joy. “YES!” she screams, while in the back of her mind, she’s already planning on throwing a Botox bachelorette party.
In the end, Tamra concludes her story to the camera in her very Tamra-esque way: “I f*cking deserve it! I got the ring, b*tches!”
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