Sunday’s “True Blood” Season 5 premiere moved faster than Eric cleaning up Nan’s sticky remains. In fact, that was the opening scene. The action packed episode picked up right where the Season 4 premiere ended, with Sookie (Anna Paquin) dealing with the two bloody bodies in her kitchen — her best friend Tara and psycho werewolf Debbie — and did not let up. In the space of an hour, characters hooked up, came out, gave themselves makeovers, and got turned. Here are the top five shocking twists:
1) Tara is a Vampire
When Debbie shot Tara (Rutina Wesley) in the head, it was obvious that no doctor could save her. Fortunately, Pam (Kristin Bauer) drops by in search of Eric. Lafayette, still reeling from Jesus’s death, begged her to turn Tara. Though Pam pointed out that her head injury might lead to her becoming a cognitively impaired vampire (she used far less politically correct language), once Sookie promises to mend Pam and Eric’s relationship, Pam sliced open her wrist and let Tara drink. Then she donned a Wal-Mart sweatsuit and crawled into a hole with Pam. At first it looked like the transformation did not take, but Tara sprung back to life, and seemed ready to attack Sookie, clearly not pleased that she had been turned into the creature she despises.
Watch the Season Premiere of “True Blood”:
2) Reverend Steven is a Gay Vampire — And Proud of It
Reverend Steve (Michael McMillian), now with 100 percent more fangs, showed up at Jason’s (Ryan Kwanten) door in the finale. He initially has a sob story about being turned as punishment by an unknown woman, but when Jason is unmoved, he glamours him, gets him to invite him into his house, then puts tape over his mouth. Before coming out to him, he admits that the real reason that he was upset Jason slept with his wife is because he wanted Jason for himself, proclaiming “I’m a gay vampire American, and I love you Jason Stackhouse.” He removes the tape. Jason is accepting, but not remotely interested, pointing out that he is straight. Steve is about to attack him, but Jessica barges in and proclaims herself the queen of Louisiana in Bill’s absence, declares Jason is hers, and orders Steve to leave before she administers the true death. So Steve is now Ted Haggard, which should be fun. Jason, stupid as ever, thinks this means Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) is love with him. After he crashes the college party she’s hosting in Bill’s mansion, she breaks the news that they are still just friends with benefits because she wants to party.
3) Eric Has Sex with His Sister
Bill (Stephen Moyer) sees Debbie attacking Sookie and rushes to save her — only to be caught by the Authority. He and Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) are thrown in the trunk of a car. They manage to use an umbrella to punch a hole in the gas tank which promptly blows up the car. They are about to be killed by an Authority henchman when a woman, Nora (Lucy Griffiths) kills him. She and Eric kiss in slo mo.Then he intrduces Bill to his sister. Fortunately,they aren’t blood siblings. They were both made by Godric. Nora is a chancellor for the Authority, but is part of an underground faction that is trying to fight the organization from within. She tells them they have to run, or else they face the True Death. While they wait for someone to bring them fake i.d.s, they have disturbingly loud sex. Unfortunately, just when the duo is about to escape, the Authority catches them. Next week, they will face Chris Meloni’s wrath.
4) Terry’s House May Have Been Set on Fire for Non-Ghostly Reasons
Remember Terry’s war buddy Patrick (Scott Foley) who popped up in the season finale? It turns out the real reason he came to Bon Temps is because Terry (Todd Lowe) is not the only person in his platoon whose house caught on fire. Terry tries to explain that it was all an angst-ridden ghost’s fault, but Patrick does not buy it. Even more surprisingly, Terry refuses to help Patrick investigate, wanting to avoid dealing with his past.
5) Alcide is the (Possible) Leader of the Pack
Sam (Sam Trammell) nobly claims that he killed Marcus, the leader of the werewolf pack, to protect Alcide (Joe Manganiello). After being tortured, he agrees to lead the wolves to Marcus’s body. Once they dig him up, Alcide arrives and takes responsibility, saying Marcus deserved to die. Half the wolves pledge their allegiance to him, as the new leader of the pack, and half want to kill him. Also, Marcus’s mother eats her son’s intestines — an apparent werewolf ritual — that was the grossest moment of the episode.
In other news, Lafayette shaved his head, Andy had sex with Holly — and showed the world his butt — and Sookie and Eric learned that Russell was alive and on the loose.