‘RHONYC’ Premiere: New Blood, Bad Blood and a Pity Party

by | June 5, 2012 at 2:13 PM | Real Housewives of New York City

The Real Housewives of New York City” returned for a new season Monday night, where three new cast members debuted and the returning cast members pounced on them immediately.

Picking up right where we left off, there’s a party — and a feud. You know the drill: Lu Ann scolds and Ramona overreacts, as the new girls are quickly caught in the middle and forced to choose between Team Elegance and Team Pinot. Watch the Clip Above.

The new housewives also got a surprising amount of screen time, which no doubt will lead to bitterness with the “old” wives by, say, episode five.

And what better way to assess the new ladies than by making snap judgments about their Bravo intros and grading them?! (Every “Real Housewife” has their own notoriously cheesy “tag line” that runs in the opening credits.)

May we introduce…

Aviva Drescher: “Never underestimate a woman born and raised in New York City”
Grade: B+. The “girl power” thing is tired but this woman actually has overcome obstacles — she had her leg amputated after a childhood farm accident — and, unbelievably, ranks as the very first NYC housewife who was actually born in New York.

Carole Radziwill: “I may be a princess, but I’m definitely not a drama queen”
Grade: A. Because this show needs another drama queen like it needs a full-time on-set psychiatrist. Plus, she isn’t just a princess in her head. Radziwill is a widow who married into the Kennedy clan; her late husband who died of cancer was Prince Anthony Radziwill, whose mother Lee was Jackie O’s sister.

Heather Thomson: “My success is built on making women look and feel their best … holla!”
Grade: C. Heather does get props for seeming like the most real “Real Housewife” (so far) but she also seems more like Jenny from the Block than an Uptown girl, yo.

Other Highlights From the Season 5 Premiere:

The “princess” is linked to rock royalty, too? Carole Radziwill, an Emmy-winning journalist who once worked with Peter Jennings and Diane Sawyer but now writes about the Kardashians for Glamour magazine, reveals she has a “casual but cool relationship” with a member of Aerosmith. See Below.

Meanwhile, Ramona the Pinot lover is still Ramona… watch her go into a near-panic when her maid can’t open her a bottle of wine properly, or fast enough. Seriously, watch below.

While she doesn’t go full-on “Mean Girl” (yet), Ramona doesn’t waste any time insulting new girl Heather Thomson, designer of Yummie Tummie shapewear. At Sonja’s party, Ramona and her husband Mario interrupt Heather to inform her that she’s an interrupter… Watch the Awkward Moment Below.

Then there’s Aviva (a relative by marriage to actress Fran Drescher), who wears a prosthetic leg but hasn’t let it slow down her glamorous lifestyle. Sonja calls her “amazing” when the two ladies meet up for a pedicure, where Aviva pulls out a third leg … so she could have its toes polished too.

But what was really jarring about the scene was when Sonja was neither casual nor cool when she name-drops Eric Clapton and then asks Aviva which leg she wears when she “does the deed” with her husband. Here’s the Scene.

“The Real Housewives of New York City” airs Monday at 10/9c on Bravo.