‘Revenge’ Finale: Who Died? Who Was Resurrected? Crazy Cliffhangers Abound!

by | May 24, 2012 at 10:00 AM | Recap, Revenge

Revenge (ABC)

How does “Revenge” cap a season that has featured a Sensei, an insane bisexual hustler, a stripper pretending to be a terrorist’s daughter, a computer genius who could teach Mark Zuckerberg how to dress, the world’s oldest dog, primetime’s most gloriously dysfunctional rich family since the Ewings, and a woman with a wig to match her every “Revenge” scheme? “Reckoning” met the challenge by executing the rare quadruple cliffhanger.

Emanda  (Emily Van Camp) tells Daniel  (Josh Bowman) that she saw a white haired man in the kitchen. He realizes that all of the evidence implicating Conrad, which he has stashed in his briefcase, has disappeared. Daniel tells Conrad. Conrad shows him the video that he received last week of Daniel and Emanda sleeping. We know she sent it, while Conrad thinks it’s the White Haired Man (AKA the WHM) threatening their family.

Emanda finds Nolan’s (Gabriel Mann) house empty. His computer shows web cam footage of him chained up next to a sign that says, “Call or I die.” This is the second time this season that Nolan was tied up by a psycho while trying to protect Emanda. She better get the poor guy some therapy. Emanda calls, identifies herself to the WHM as Amanda Clark and says they have unfinished business.  It’s her first of many bad ass moves.

Conrad (Henry Czerny) has his security team sweep the mansion, telling Victoria (Madeline Stowe) the WHM has all their files. They find a bunch of bugs. The WHM is getting blamed for everything Emanda has done. Daniel searches his book shelf and finds the Orwell camera. Next season, Orwell Cam and the Whale Cam will be the hot new couple.

The WHM and Emanda meet at the side of a road. She tells him she has evidence implicating him and the Initiative in terrorism. She demands to see Nolan. Aww, she really does care about the person who has always had her back. He tells her she has to chloroform herself or else Nolan will die. She sniffs the chloroformed rag, passes out and flashes back to finding an injured bird with her dad. She wakes up in chains next to a bloody Nolan. WHM demands to know where she hid the evidence, getting out some torture instruments. She claims he evidence is in a locker at Port Authority – and she may have sent an email to the authorities. He tells her it’s 2:30. She says he has an hour, and tells the clock-obsessed assassin “Tick tock.”

Emanda uses her teeth to pull a lock pick out of the fabric of her jacket and frees herself and Nolan. She tells him to get the evidence and send it to the feds. She asks him to tell Jack that she loves him if she doesn’t survive.

The SEC investigator finds the evidence in the trunk of his car courtesy of Nolan the hero. Victoria tells him she didn’t drop it off. He tells her that Lydia recanted her testimony, but they have enough evidence to bring murder charges against Conrad because he hired David’s killer. This is news to Victoria, who thought he was only guilty of framing her former lover.

WHM returns to Emanda, saying she made a grave miscalculation by lying about where she hid the evidence. Emanda is now holding a giant axe. A huge martial arts fight ensues. He says she got her fighting skills from her mother. Wait, what? She ends up holding an axe to his neck telling him she will be the last thing he sees before he dies. Then she flashes back to her dad telling her to promise she will never lose her love for everybody. She lets him go, leaving him bleeding on the floor. He says “I thought you came here to honor your father.” She tells him, “I just did.”

Jack (Nick Wechsler) gives Daniel back the check for a million dollars, saying he says he prefers to live debt free. Daniel comments a million should have curbed his self-righteousness. Ashley (Ashley Madekere) plays that, “I know something awful about him, but I really should not tell you,” game. He goes home and confronts Emanda about kissing Jack, shocked that she could get romantic next to Sammy the Wonder Dog’s corpse. He wonders if she was just pretending to love him. She says, “I’m not really the person that you fell in love with. And I’m watching you become everything you said you never wanted to be… a Grayson.” She gives him back the engagement ring. He tersely tells her goodbye. So much for Daniel’s love for her.

WHM denies to Conrad that he stole the evidence from his office. He winks at Emanda through the computer cam and tells him to get out of town. Conrad persuades Lydia (Amber Valetta) to flee to the Caymans with him.

Daniel tells Victoria that he and Emanda are through. She thanks him for turning over the evidence. He says it wasn’t him and tells her to refuse to testify. He thinks Conrad must have had a good reason to have David murdered. Victoria slaps him.  Victoria tells Lydia to protect herself, saying  Conrad will sell her out. She warns, “When I’m done with him, it will make your taxi cab bounce look like a trip to St. Tropez.” Lydia lies to Conrad that her dad had a heart attack. She offers to meet him wherever he lands. He realizes she is leaving him and says he understands.

Nolan, wearing red pants and a pocket square, wants to celebrate Emanda’s murder-free revenge with champagne. She finally thanks him for being the world’s greatest friend.  She tells him she plans to tell Jack everything.

Victoria offers Emanda  condolences for her break up. Emanda gives her back the engagement gift. Victoria tells her to open it. It’s an empty box. It would be amazing if Victoria and Emanda realized they were on the same side now.

Emanda goes to the Stowaway and gives Jack Sammy’s collar. He tells her it belongs to Amanda. Amily (Margaritia Levieva) walks out, pregnant, and hugs her. What the hell?  She says “Jack and I are going to have a baby.” (Cliffhanger number one!) Demand a DNA test, Jack. Emanda stammers out a congratulations and leaves without revealing her true identity. Then she cries and stares at her box before breaking the news to Nolan. Nolan: “Don’t do anything revenge-y until I get there.”

Conrad angrily begs Victoria not to testify against him.  He claims that David’s death was orchestrated by people far above him.  If she boards the plane, she could die. Victoria: “Then I guess I’ll see you in hell.”

Charlotte (Christa Allen)  is jealous of Declan’s (Connor Paolo)  new girlfriend, so she phones Victoria’s P.I., and, impersonating her mother, gets him to dig up dirt on her. Then she sets up a website exposing the girl’s affair with a history teacher at her former school.  Declan blasts her for being her mother’s daughter. Yawn. But it pays off eventually.

Ashley offers her sympathies to Daniel. He thanks her for having his back. They toast. She is so the next Mrs. Grayson.

Then there is the epic, must see closing montage set to Florence and the Machine’s Seven Devils.  Lydia steps onto the SEC plane. Victoria follows, climbing the stairs in slow motion. Underneath the plane, the WHM is disguised as the ground crew. Conrad throws a photo of Victoria and Lydia in the fire. Jack touches a sleeping Amily’s stomach. Charlotte watches a news bulletin about Victoria and Lydia’s plane exploding. There were no survivors! (Cliffhanger number two!) Except, any soap opera fan has to question an off camera death, especially when a conspiracy is involved. Charlotte leaves a frantic message for Declan. He tells her not to ever call him again.  Conrad finds Charlotte seemingly dead after overdosing. (Cliffhanger number three — please let her be dead!)

Emanda watches the report in shock. Sometimes, revenge is not sweet. All of the evidence that could have exonerated David was on the plane. Nolan saves the day again, telling her he encrypted and backed up the hard drive before he gave it to the SEC. The Initiative goes way beyond David’s death. He plays footage of Victoria telling the WHM that she knows David’s deepest secret. Emanda thinks she killed her mother too. Nolan says no, what Victoria is saying is that her mother is still alive! (Cliffhanger number four!)