While Gretchen Rossi’s body may have been purring on last night’s “Real Housewives of Orange County,” her vocals sounded like a kitty cat choking on its own furball during her Pussycat Dolls stint in Vegas…and yes, even the gay choreographer with the Angelina Jolie lips was speechless.
“I’m either gonna knock it out the park or fall flat on my face, and I’m scared crapless right now,” she said right before she got on stage.
By the looks on the other Housewives’ faces, who came to support her and celebrate her birthday, they seemed pretty scared crapless, too, after her uncomfortably bad performance.
But in true Housewives fashion, the ladies lied profusely at the after party and told an semi-embarrassed Gretch she was amazeballs. Even boyfriend Slade’s fib-o-meter was going bonkers as he toasted to her “successful” experience being a Pussycat Doll. Mee-Ouch.
Watch the Housewives (and especially their men) gawk at the Pussycat Dolls:
If that weren’t already a bomb, Vicki’s only daughter, Briana, along with her military boyfriend Ryan, take Vicki out to dinner and drop an even bigger bomb: The two eloped in Vegas! At hearing the news, Vicki’s face turns even whiter than her normal Casper white foundation. She blinks but no words come out of her mouth.
“We got marrieeeed! Take a drink!” Briana nervously laughs, as Ryan waits to be killed by his new mother-in-law.
Watch the conversation leading up to the M-bomb:
Despite Briana’s justifications of being ready to take life by the horns, especially after her cancer scare and Ryan’s deployment to Afghanistan, Vicki lets the two know she is crazy disappointed and angry with the both of them. She later tells the cameras that her daughter deserves better than a cheap, corny quickie wedding in Vegas…
To Briana’s defense, she might argue that her mom deserves better than to have a corny dude give her cheesy cards with affirmations everyday.
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