Ellen Gives Awkward Reading of Erotic Novel, ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

by | April 27, 2012 at 12:26 PM | The Ellen DeGeneres Show

On “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” the talk-show host gave a “dramatic” reading of E.L. James’ “Fifty Shades of Grey,” the steamy, erotic novel that’s hidden under millions of housewives’ boudoir tables.

For a “taping” of the audiobook, Ellen narrates the tale of the relationship between businessman Christian Grey and college grad Anastasia Steele, apparently unaware of the sexually explicit details she’s in for.

“Oh my God, I’m not gonna say that,” an “embarrassed” Ellen exclaims. “Mind if I paraphrase?” she asks.

But before long she’s breaking out whips, chains, handcuffs and a spanking paddle to add her own love-making sound effects. “Thank God there are no pictures in here…” she says.

Her hilarious commentary includes gems like “I don’t think you should use a spatula for that” and “If you go to Anastasia’s house, don’t eat the pancakes!”

And now, “Fifty Shades of Gray” as read by Ellen DeGeneres, is above for your viewing pleasure.