How do I love this week’s episode of “Revenge,” “Perception”? Let me count the ways. First, it is an incontrovertible fact that William Devane makes everything better. His portrayal of Grandpa Grayson, self-made millionaire, proud patriarch, and thorn in Conrad’s (Henry Czerny) side was simply delightful. Second, we learned via an extra hilarious flashback that years ago Daniel (Josh Bowman) dreamed of giving up the financial career that was given to him on a platinum platter so that he could become a poet. A poet! Ha ha ha ha. Poor, painfully earnest, little rich boy. Emanda (Emily VanCamp), disguised as Good Wilhemina Hunting in glasses, a parka, and Declan’s (Connor Paolo) accent, told him that he could make people see him as more than his last name if he applied himself.

Daniel was so traumatized by the episode’s climactic dinner party scene that he was inspired to fire up his computer and compose the following poem:

Fathers Are Bothers

by Daniel Grayson

People always say to me

You are so lucky; you were born on third base

Well, let me tell you, it’s an awfully lonely place

Conrad viewed me as a lump of clay he could mold;

When I wanted to go my own way, he said, “No, you will do as you are told.”

And so I put away my poetry and studied economics.

My grandpa did the same to him, and it trickled down like Reaganomics

I told my fiancee Emanda and she was like, “Whatever, at least you have a Dad.”

Sometimes I wonder if she’s hiding things from me that are really, really bad.

But it got me thinking about how no one else I know has a Pa.

Whoever sired my mother never got to know Victoria

Ashley is evasive about her family

Which means there’s a fork in the Davenport tree

She’s probably my long lost half-sister

Even though she calls Conrad “Mister”

Nolan seems to have no relatives

That’s probably why he always gives

And does not complain

When, instead of saying thanks,  everyone tells him he’s lame

Then there’s handsome, macho Jack

His Dad kicked the bucket a while back

Which may be why he crashed the Grayson dinner

To tell everyone that my Mom’s a sinner

She had an affair with David Clarke

I thought she was raped, because I was her mark

Charlotte’s that dead terrorist’s daughter

Which means she no longer has a father

Press play on the clip to see how everyone took the news

Emanda seems awfully confused

I’d forgotten the joys of crafting a rhyme

It’s my Dad’s fault that I can’t be this profound all the time

Quotes:

“She threw a dead man under the bus. She’s certainly committed” – Nolan to Emanda, on Victoria’s claim that David raped her.

“Fire and ice. It’s astonishing how your mother managed to model the theme of your engagement party after both sides of her own personality” – Conrad to Daniel.