Mariah Carey boldly returned to HSN last night to hawk her holiday wares for a whopping two hours. Unlike her rambling, borderline insane appearance in July, this time Carey was much more self-aware. While entertainingly promoting everything from initial necklaces and “showstopping” snow boots to a light-up multi-ethnic cherub wall hanging, she dropped f-bombs (FESTIVE is the word, people) with aplomb and astutely pointed out moments worthy of distilling into a compilation reel (which Gawker has provided here). Fortunately for us though, Mariah the Messiah wasn’t too self-aware to avoid dropping some hilarious personal admissions. Our five favorites, below.
1) “Don’t ask me about numbers. I failed remedial math. That’s it. There’s no turning back.”
2) “Guess what, I like butterflies. A freakin’ shock to the world.”
3) “I didn’t realize there were 26 letters in the alphabet.”
4) “I’m so used to wearing jewelry that is abusive.”
5) “I’ll never stop believing in Santa. I know him. He’s my friend.”