So you think you have figured out the “Revenge” formula: Emily (Emily VanCamp) destroys someone who hurt her father then crosses out their photo with a red pen. Wrong. In this week’s episode, “Intrigue,” Emily attempted to cover her ass, while Frank and Tyler took up the revenge mantle. Emily just started the fire. Now everyone else is adding kindling.
Revenge of the D-bag: Tyler
Tyler (Ashton Holmes) goes full on “Talented Mr. Ripley” after he learns that Daniel (Joshua Bowman) slept with Emily. He plans a double date between he, Ashley (Ashley Madekwe), Emily and Daniel. Tyler brags about always ordering the most expensive wine on the menu and flying to the Bahamas on a G5. Dude, everyone who’s anyone flies a G6. Emily busts him on his obvious lies. It takes one to know one, Amanda!
Tyler swings by the bar, where Daniel is working his first shift. He persuades him to take a shot of bourbon, and drugs his drink. Tyler toasts to the working class. Welcome to the 99 percent, Daniel. When Daniel becomes woozy, Tyler takes him to a spare bedroom. That’s one well-equipped dive bar! He tells Daniel that Emily is all wrong for him, then starts to show him how right he is. Daniel, not in the mood for gay roofie sex, shoves him away. Tyler’s next plan: he bangs his head on a wood pillar, cutting his forehead. Tyler is a wimpy psycho. If you’re going to fake a beating, commit to seriously injuring yourself. He shows up at the Grayson party and tells Victoria (Madeline Stowe) that Daniel did it because he was drunk, claiming he “loves him like a brother.” Apparently, Tyler likes to drug and fondle his brother. Emily does not believe Tyler’s story. Maybe Nolan planted a camera in the wood pillar that will prove Tyler is a headbanger.
Watch “Intrigue” Below:
Revenge of the Fired Security Expert: Frank
Lydia (Amber Valetta) is in a coma after her fall. Any predictions on when she wakes up and what she remembers? After Nolan (Gabriel Mann) shows Emily the video of Frank (Max Martini) pushing Lydia off the roof, she instructs him to send it to Conrad (Henry Czerny) anonymously. Emily hides Lydia’s photo of her as a waitress in her revenge box instead of doing the smart thing and shredding it When Conrad gets the footage in his email, he fires Frank for telling Victoria about the money he gave Lydia, then offers him a sizable check and a plane ride out of the country. No word on whether the plane is a G5. Conrad shows Victoria the video. When she confronts Frank about it, he tells her he did it for her. Frank bribes the security guard in Lydia’s building so he can see footage from the lobby security cameras. To his shock, he sees video of Nolan arriving the night of Lydia’s fall.
At the party, Nolan awesomely loads up on finger foods. Frank points a gun at him then asks him about the video. Nolan’s perfect response: the double rainbow thing? Frank asks how much Conrad paid him. Nolan, scared, says it wasn’t Conrad. We don’t see who he names. Emily and Tyler find him lying on the floor. He tells Emily that Frank is on to him. Frank sees them talking. Uh, oh. At the end of the episode, Frank stares menacingly at Emily while she sits on her porch swing.
Revenge of the Flannel Shirts: Fishermen
Declan (Connor Paolo) steals lobster from a trap so he can get money to take Charlotte (Christa B. Allen) on a date. Two large lobster fishermen demand he pay them back. Jack holds them off with a baseball bat, but when he realizes what Declan did, our hero makes him give them the money he made. They complain that Declan sold the lobster for half what they are worth. Daniel, who is working at the bar, hilariously tells them to work things out like gentlemen. Then he pays them off. The moral of this story is speak softly and carry a disinherited billionaire.
Non-Revenge: Jack Suffers The Most Humiliating Rejection Since Ralph Wiggum Sent Lisa Simpson A Valentine
Nolan advises Jack to make a play for Emily, claiming Jack’s inner gladiator is waking up. Nolan: best character on “Revenge”, or best character on television? Jack’s big romantic plan: repairing Emily’s porch swing, which he remembers Amanda loving. Before Emily can respond to this “Notebook” style mack daddy move, Daniel arrives. Jack decides the Porter boys are going to the Grayson’s party. They don’t change into appropriate attire because they are the salt of the earth. Declan makes a speech about how he likes Charlotte but can’t compete. Charlotte doesn’t care that he’s poor, by which she means that she loves how much it will enrage her parents.
Unfortunately, Jack’s game is not as tight as his brother’s. As fireworks explode in the sky — this show is far from subtle — Jack compares Emily to his boat, because he’s poor and noble and doesn’t have a fancy Harvard education that would enable him to quote Shakespeare. He says this feeling comes “Once or twice” in a lifetime. (Hint, Jack: it really only comes once.) Then he challenges her to say she doesn’t feel the same way. She tells him she’s sorry – but she doesn’t. His heart falls out of his chest and breaks into 10,000 manly, working class, pieces. He walks away, unaware that about 7 million viewers just fell in love with him. Alone, Emily fights tears because she loves him, but has already pledged her heart to a man named “Revenge”.