Brandi was in no mood to play games on last night’s “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” and she let Kyle and Kim know that they better think twice before messing with a cellulite-less gimp in short shorts!
The self-referential “Super Slut” brought out her gangsta tricks when she got attacked by the sisters’ “Mean Girls” ‘tude during a game night at Dana’s house. Unlike Dana, who was Charading to be besties with the gals, Brandi was more than ready to Slap Jack them and confront Kim, whom she was convinced was suffering from a case of drunken Scattergories. (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself with the cheeseball game references.)
Check out the tension builder right here:
As Dana greets the ladies and continues the tradition of flaunting her designer taste (“This is Valentino!”), awkwardness begins to build immediately when Kyle and Brandi are the first ones to arrive.
Unfortunately, for the New Blond, her last bastion of hope (a.k.a. Adrienne) calls and says she can’t make it. (Thankfully, ball-busting Lisa also doesn’t show since she’s too busy wiping her eyes daintily with a dinner napkin at her daughter’s engagement announcement.)
Watch The Night’s Big Fight:
As the rest of the ladies down a few drinks to ease their funkdafied feelings towards Brandi, Kim finally stumbles in, acting totally disheveled. She rushes into the ladies room, and Kyle follows, trying to decipher if her elder sister is acting her normal certifiable self or certifiable post-nightcap self. Rummaging through her purse, Kim says she feels like she’s having a panic attack and claims she hasn’t eaten or slept in a week.
As the gals are finally led into the game room to play, Kim keeps calling Dana “Pam” and then decides it’s time for another bathroom break! Watching like a surreptitious mountain lion, Brandi asks Camille if Kim is okay, suspecting girly pearly is high on something, but Camille tries to avoid the question altogether, hoping to come up with another Kelsey-has-a-small-weiner joke to change the subject.
Dana divides the ladies into two teams to let the good times roll: She, Taylor, and Camille are Team 1, while Brandi, Kyle, and Kim are Team 2. “I don’t like her. I don’t want her on my team,” says a sleepy-eyed Kim out loud. Kyle cracks up. Brandi glares at them.
But before the newbie can smack the sisters up side their heads with her crutches, Kim pops up to go for a Bathroom Break Trilogy, and Kyle scurries off after her! “Number one, they don’t like me; number two, they’re not lucid,” Brandi says to Camille.
As the night commences and Team 1 at least seems to be having a good time with Dana’s guessing game, Kim quietly disappears and hides Brandi’s crutches. Kyle smirks and giggles. “She hates us,” Kim laughs.
By the time the IQ game rolls around, Brandi is ready to unleash a hot mess of “Super Slut Biznatch” on the sisters. The verbal diarrhea exchange goes like so:
Kyle [points at Brandi to start the game]: “You first.”
Brandi: “Perfect. Bring it, b–ch.” [head jerks, puckers her lips].
Kyle [oh-no-she-di-in't-look]: “Are you calling me a b–ch?” [head jerks with hair off to the side...and Vaseline in her pocket]
Brandi [coolly]: “Yeah, kinda.”
Kim: “I think you’re being rude.” [Says to Kyle]: “I don’t like her.”
Brandi confronts the two on their rudeness for being so blatant on not liking her…
Brandi: “Maybe you don’t remember because you’ve been in the bathroom so many times.”
Kyle: “You are a godd–n b–ch!”
Brandi: “Bring it.”
Kim: [insults her on wearing short shorts]: “Not cute when you’re running around like a little ho.”
Kyle: [about Brandi being a slut]: “It’s very clear by the way.”
Brandi: “So is everything else tonight. Your sister is wasted out of her f–king mind!”
Kim [jumps out of her seat and points at her]: “You watch your f–king step!” [hiccups]
Kyle [simultaneously jumps and points with Kim]: “You watch your f–king mouth!”
Oh, them Pointer Sisters are on like Donkey Kong…
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Catch Up On Last Week’s Episode Below: