Josh Duhamel (Briefly) Returns to ‘All My Children’

by | August 5, 2011 at 9:37 AM | Deep Soap

Josh Duhamel on AMC (ABC)

Josh Duhamel on AMC (ABC)

Josh Duhamel Returns to All My Children For 25 Seconds

Thursday night, I sat down with a metaphorical bowl of popcorn to watch Josh Duhamel’s return to “All My Children.” I was prepared for some amazing scenes thanks to the promo clip that ABC Daytime released earlier this week. So I held my breath as David  (Vincent Irizarry) and Greenlee arrived at David’s mysterious clinic. David had promised to take Greenlee to see Leo, so surely he would show up relatively early in the episode. I waited, and waited, and waited. I waited as David revealed to Greenlee that he knew she was lying about suffering from numbness in her legs.  I cheered, because a man who is smart enough to raise the dead should be able to tell when someone is faking symptoms. So, Leo should be showing up any minute now, right? Everyone’s already seen the clip of him waking up and calling her Greens, so there’s got to be at least a couple more minutes of GreenLeo footage, right?

Meanwhile, back in Pine Valley, Ryan (Cameron Mathison)and Griffin (Jordi Vilasuso) searched David’s office for evidence that would prove the cardiologist was reanimating people. They found a safe full of obituaries for everybody who died in Pine Valley for the past five years. I loved this exchange:

Ryan: So many people we’ve lost.

Griffin: Babe Chandler, Julia Santos Keefer, Leo DuPres, Dixie Martin, Vanessa Cortlandt? Dixie Martin–do you know these people?

Ryan: Yeah, I know all of them. Myrtle Fargate, Palmer Cortlandt, Zach Slater, Leora Hayward and Mike Roy? Some of these people are Hayward’s family.

Fans have been joking that the show is bringing back every single dead character, including those who were killed off because the elderly actors who played them passed away. It’s genius for the show to acknowledge the logical questions that this plot creates. It makes me invest more in the admittedly implausible story if yes, David did at least consider attempting to bring back a bunch of people who are not returning. It’s a sci-fi storyline of sorts, and the number one rule of sci-fi is establish the rules of the fictional universe, then follow them. In this one, David is Dr. Frankenstein.

Finally, David injected Greenlee with an unknown substance. When she woke up, she found herself in a room with an unconscious Leo. Is he real or is Greenlee hallucinating? Fade to black. We did not even get to see the footage that ABC released.

The writers have given themselves a lot of wiggle room, unless it is made clear in Friday’s episode. We didn’t even get to see him open his eyes and call her Greens. Though this is a classic soap cliffhanger, I felt let down thanks to all the hype. I don’t blame ABC’s publicists. It’s their job to make sure everyone knows about Duhamel’s return. Dozens of websites embedded the clip that they released. But I can’t help wishing that Friday was publicized as L-Day and the end of Thursday’s episode was a unexpected, delicious Duhamel preview for fans.

Beware of the Throw Pillows of Doom

The Young & the Restless” launched yet another murder mystery this week when Diane’s (Maura West) corpse was found floating in Murphy’s (Michael Fairman) favorite fishing spot. Genoa City residents should stay away from large bodies of water. Both Brad (Don Diamont) and Colleen (Tammin Sursok) also found themselves in watery graves. I understand why Y&R opted to kill Diane. West, one of daytime’s best actresses, was miscast in the role. She was decades younger than the other actresses who played the part. Her Diane was mean and greedy, without any of the vulnerabilities that made the character sympathetic despite her numerous flaws. The writers never seemed to settle on a storyline for Diane.  First she wanted Jack (Peter Bergman). Then she set her sights on Tucker (Stephen Nichols), who dumped her after they had a one night stand. She was in love with Nick (Josh Morrow). Then she dumped him so she could marry Victor (Eric Braeden) again. Then she wanted Nick back. Then she was an angry, scorned woman who was willing to team up with Adam (Michael Muhney) to fake her own death and frame Victor, only to double cross him and end up dead for real. That’s way too many storylines for a character who was on the show for less than a year.

The actual death scene was bizarre.  There were vignettes of  the numerous people who had motivation to kill Diane acting suspicious. In between, there were lengthy shots of the throw pillows on Diane’s bed, all of which were embroidered with phrases that conveniently summed up the suspects personality, from “Princess Sleeps Here” for Abby to “Why Yes I Am Evil” for Adam.

I found myself preoccupied with why Diane had such strange pillows in her bedroom. Where did she find them? Why does a “Why Yes Am I Evil” pillow exist? Were they clues that Diane set up as part of her plan, or was Diane broke because she spent all her money buying crafts on Esty? I hope Ronan (Jeff Branson) thoroughly investigates the pillows.

Yes, FBI agent Ronan has returned to find the killer since the Genoa City Police Department is too busy repeatedly arresting Billy (Billy Miller) for drinking and not driving. I am excited because I think there is so much unfinished business between him and his long lost mother, Nina (Tricia Cast). I never bought the last minute twist that he was just conning her to get his brother Chance (John Driscoll) to donate part of his liver. However, Nina’s on and off-again boyfriend Paul (Doug Davidson) does not seem to share my sentiment. When he learned Ronan was on the case, he did not even bother to phone Nina to let her know that her child was back in town. Maybe he’s decided to inform her by sending her an embroidered pillow that reads “Your Prodigal Son Is Back.”

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