David Letterman mined comedic gold from the unfortunate vandalism that occurred over the weekend at the Ed Sullivan Theater.
Dave made the break-in – which occurred early Sunday morning – the subject of his “Top Ten” list Monday night on “The Late Show” on CBS.
Unfortunately, the alleged perpetrator of the break-in and subsequent vandalism of the historic building’s ornate lobby – James Whittemore, 22, who later said he was so drunk he doesn’t remember the incident – was not available to deliver the Top Ten in person. So Dave delivered it, after discussing the break-in for several minutes.
“The Top Ten Excuses of the Guy Who Broke Into the Ed Sullivan Theater” started with these gems: “No. 10, When did Stupid Human Tricks become illegal?”; “No. 9, It was on my list of places to ransack before I die!”; and “No. 8, I thought the place was abandoned!”
In his monologue opening the show, Letterman even suggested — comedically, of course — that the perpetrator may have been his late-night rival, Jay Leno. “Over the weekend, a guy breaks into the Ed Sullivan Theater right here,” Dave said. “A guy breaks in! I’m told now that Jay has an alibi!”
Meanwhile, on the West Coast, Leno was contriving a monologue joke along those very same lines. “And the Ed Sullivan Theater where Dave Letterman tapes his show was vandalized over the weekend. Did you hear about this?” Jay asked during his monologue on Monday night’s “Tonight Show” on NBC. “Yeah, well, here’s the story,” he said, introducing a hilarious visual.