‘The Bold & the Beautiful’ Gets Berry Berry Crazy

by | May 2, 2011 at 10:48 AM | Deep Soap

Katherine Kelly Lang (CBS)

Katherine Kelly Lang (CBS)

The Island of Misfit Berries

There is a fine line between bad and so bad it’s good. Brooke (Katherine Kelly Lang) and Thomas’s (Adam Gregory) psychedelic berry trip on “The Bold & the Beautiful” classifies as the latter. Yes, Brooke is once again committing accidental adultery. Last time the culprit was masks and reggaeton music. This time, it’s the fault of a plane crash and some berries that seem to be made of a mixture of ecstasy, 1970s movie love scenes, and “My Little Pony” cartoons. Oh, B&B, I will have what you are having.

The fun started as soon as their plane crash landed on a mysterious island that, for all we know, may also be an outpost of the Dharma Initiative. Somehow, Brooke’s dress got ripped to shreds so that her underwear was visible. As Brooke and Thomas foraged for food, Brooke discovered some smurf berries. Cut to a native ominously warning the search party that nobody should eat the berries on the island. Then back to a hilarious close up of Brooke’s tongue as she takes the first fateful bite. Then she persuaded Thomas to join her, and the most hilarious drug trip since “The South Park” salvia episode began. There was a montage, complete with a sitar soundtrack — music for stoners who can’t get clearance rights to Grateful Dead songs. First they frolicked on the beach, then the cheap CGI started. There were rainbows and magic waterfalls. Apparently, the magic berries magic powers include giving everyone who uses them the exact same trip. They saw a waterfall and, with what I would like to think was a deliberately bad green screen, jumped into it. I nearly fell on the floor laughing when they held hands and rays of light shot out. Poor Brooke won’t even realize she’s having sex with her stepson. She’s going to think she’s sliding down a rainbow.

It’s a borderline James Reilly plot point on a show that has sought greater gravitas over the past few months. Oh, why not? It’s more interesting than Amber’s (Adrienne Frantz) scheme to convince Liam (Scott Clifton) he’s her Baby Daddy. Yes, it’s a total retread of the Brooke and Oliver storyline with the gross addition of borderline incest. But that was the last story on the show that really excited the audience. People like Brooke front, center, and trampy. I would hate this storyline if it were on B&B’s sister show, “The Young & the Restless“, but in the loopy world of B&B it works. The actors were obviously in on the joke and had a blast with the material.  I have to admit I am really looking forward to seeing the fall out on Monday — and adding berries to my grocery list.

Parents of the Year

If “One Life to Live’s” Rex (John Paul Lavoisier) and Gigi (Farrah Fath) are supposed to be illustrating what not to do if you are parenting a suicidal teen, mission accomplished. They have done everything but plant a front page story in the Llanview Sun about Shane’s suicide attempt.  First Rex told Blair (Kassie DePaiva) and Jack (Andrew Trischetta)– Shane’s (Austin Williams) chief tormentor — that Shane attempted to kill himself. I screamed at him that he had just made things ten thousand times worse for his son. Then he proceeded to tell pretty much everyone else he encountered. Brody (Mark Lawson) was understandable, since he was a father figure to Shane. But that’s the only person who Shane would be okay with knowing. Shane was allowed to get righteously angry at Rex when he found out, but there has not been any real exploration of how terrible it is for a parent to violate the privacy of a teen who has done nothing wrong.

We also learned that Rex sent thugs to beat up Jack. At this point, I have irrational hatred for Jack.  So I understand Rex’s motivations. But antagonizing Jack is only going to make Jack angry at Shane. It also makes Shane feel like he can’t fight his own battles. Not to mention, Rex hired grown men to beat up a fifteen year old. That is not the actions of an alleged nice guy. At least when Clint (Jerry VerDorn) has someone roughed up, he owns up to his villainy.

Things really got out of control when Gigi decided that Shane did not even have the right to keep his conversations with his psychiatrist private and decided to steal the tape of his session. (Apparently though Llanview is tech savvy enough that even middle aged people use My Face, the therapists have yet to discover digital recorders.) Confidentiality is the whole point of therapy. I can think of no greater violation of trust. It’s downright disrespectful. Granted, it was a plot device for Gigi to end up with a tape of Marty’s (Susan Haskell) therapy session, in which she confessed to forging Natalie’s (Melissa Archer) paternity test, but it renewed my Gigi hate. When Gigi had an attack of remorse, Natalie volunteered to listen to the tape. Yes, I am sure that Shane would love his aunt who has interacted on screen with maybe a half dozen times to be privy to his intimate, private thoughts. At this point I am rooting for Shane to go live with Echo (Kim Zimmer) who, despite her numerous character flaws, seems to be the only person in Llanview who has only respect for the poor kid.

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