Last Week: Phillip proved that while he may not be playing with a full deck, he certainly has a race card, Rob again earned the crown of puzzle king, and Julie showed her hand at Tribal Council and was sent packing.
39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog
Let’s take a look at the tribe as it currently stands…
The Murlonio Tribe (wearing black)
Andrea – 21, Student
Ashley – 25, Nurse
Grant – 29, Yoga Instructor
Natalie – 19, Dancer
Phillip – 52, Former Federal Agent?
Ralph – 45, Farmer
Rob – 35, “Survivor” Hall of Famer
Steve – 51, Former NFL Player
Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing concern)
Julie – 50, Firefighter
Matt – 22, Pre-Med Student
Mike – 31, Former Marine
We start off with the Murlonios returning from Tribal Council. Steve takes Phillip aside and tries to clear the air. Thank goodness. Last week’s episode ruined my whole evening. Phillip accepts the apology, but let’s us know that he doesn’t trust Steve and he’ll be the next to go.
Later on, Rob says that as long as Phillip keeps up his crazy antics he’ll be safe. Thank you, Russell Hantz and NaOnka Mixon for adding that wrinkle to the game. When I get on this show (for the “Survivor: Press vs. Probst” season) I fully intend to walk around insulting people’s mothers.
The following morning Phillip has a conversation with the spirit of his great great grandfather. The topic of conversation? Not the meaning of life, but the location of Phillip’s hidden shorts.
OK, in 2112 when my great great grandson is on “Survivor: Press’ Ancestors vs. Probst’s Ancestors,” I hope I’m too busy eating Ben & Jerry’s Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream in heaven to care about anyone’s missing shorts.
There must be something to it though, cause Phillip manages to find the shorts. He also thinks that like Jack Nicholson said, Julie “Can’t stand the truth.” Well, maybe Jack Nicholson said that at some point, but I’m pretty sure his famous line had something to do with handling the truth. I could be wrong though, I didn’t consult my great great grandfather.
Meanwhile over at Redemption Island, Matt’s there in the corner, Matt’s there in the spotlight losing his religion. Just kidding, he’s totally still got it, but he’s super bummed about staying in the game.
Redemption Island Challenge Time: “Survivor” shuffle board, baby! The players will slide pucks across a board. If you get all three pucks into the end zone, you stay. If not? You go home.
Before the challenge gets underway, Matt lets Probst know that he’s ready to go if he doesn’t win the challenge.
First Shot: Mike hits the end zone, Matt and Julie miss.
Second Shot: Mike and Julie each get one in the end zone, Matt misses.
Third Shot: Matt hits his shot, Mike and Julie miss.
Fourth Shot: Matt hits another shot, Mike and Julie miss again.
Fifth Shot: Matt lands a third puck, he survives. Mike misses, Julie knocks one of her own pucks off.
Sixth Shot: Mike lands his third puck, he also survives.
Before Julie can go, Jeff asks her why she came on “Survivor.” She breaks down a bit as she explains that her house is in foreclosure and she needed the money. However, she’s happy that she’ll be having peanut butter soon.
Quick Aside: That’s really what this season has been missing. After someone loses at Redemption Island, it doesn’t have the same weight as when they were voted out at Tribal Council in previous seasons. They’ve just become an instant afterthought. If they do Redemption Island again, they need more moments like this.
Back at camp, Andrea lets us know that she’s starting to feel bad about how she played Matt. Rob tries to put her at ease by telling her that everyone is responsible for voting Matt out.
Later, Grant and Rob decide that Andrea should go home soon. They worry that Andrea is too close with the Zapaterans and they don’t want her buddying up with Matt if he returns to the game. Grant says that timing is everything when it comes to voting people out, and it may come down to the immunity challenge.
And then as if on cue…
Immunity Challenge Time: Log roll time, baby! The players will square off in a log roll competition. Last person standing wins immunity, a monster chocolate cake, and ice cold milk.
And…apparently there’s a mysterious package.
First Round: Grant beats Rob, Purple Ashley tops Andrea, Ralph bests Steve, and Phillip defeats Natalie.
Semifinal Round: Grant wins over Purple Ashley, Ralph beats Phillip, and Bobby Brown is disqualified when he does an illegal kick on Daniel LaRusso.
Final Round: Grant beats Ralph after a long contest.
Grant is allowed to choose a cake-eating buddy. To nobody’s surprise he picks Rob. He’s allowed one more cake compadre (yeah, I know, I hated that the second I typed it) and decides on Andrea.
Then, J-Pro tosses the mysterious package to Steve. Apparently it’s for the whole tribe and they’ll open it at Tribal Council.
After that, we learn that the Survivors only have two minutes to eat the cake. Wait, what? Worst reward ever.
Back at camp, everyone is trying to figure out what the twist is. They think the package feels like a deck of cards. I’m hoping it’s a new Medallion of Power.
Boston Rob breaks down his thoughts on the night’s vote. He thinks Steve won’t fight anymore as he’s tired and wants to go home, therefore they should get rid of Ralph. He’s also concerned that the twist may involve voting off two people. If that’s the case, he wants Ralph to go home first, then Andrea to go home second.
Steve tells Natalie and Ashley that he’ll be voting for Rob. Natalie and Ashley promptly relay this information to Rob. This, as you’d imagine, changes Rob’s thoughts on keeping Steve around.
That night at Tribal Council, Rob tells J-Pro that the Zapateran purge will continue.
Probsty points out that once the Zapatatians are gone, the Ometerps will have to turn on each other. Andrea isn’t concerned because she feels her alliance is rock solid.
Steve and Ralph both think that Ralph is going home next.
Grant and Phillip think Steve isn’t as feeble as he looks.
Steve reminds everyone of the time when Boston Rob stabbed Lex Van Den Berghe in the back after Rob asked him to save Amber. Why wasn’t that in the “Previously on ‘Survivor’” montage?!
Voting Time: Ralph votes for Rob and the rest of the votes are secret.
Note: When people were voting, Steve turned to Natalie and said, “Let’s do it.”
Probst tallies and returns, two votes for Rob, four votes for Ralph, and the twelfth person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Ralph.
After Ralph is snuffed, J-Pro tells Steve to open the mysterious package of mystery. Sure enough, it’s a set of cards. Apparently there will be an immediate immunity challenge and then they’ll vote out another player.
Immunity Challenge One Mo’ Time: Probst hands out decks of cards to everyone. All of the cards have symbols on them. Probst will show the players a series of symbols. The players will have to show the symbols back to him. If you get one wrong, you’re out. Last person standing wins immunity.
Round One: Phillip and Natalie are out first. Andrea and Grant are out second. Steve and Ashley are out next…Rob wins immunity.
Voting Time…Again: Andrea votes for Steve, Steve votes for Grant, and the rest will wait.
J-Pro tallies yet again and returns, one vote for Grant, three votes for Steve, and the thirteenth person to be sent to Redemption Island is…Steve.
Verdict: Heh, I feel like the producers were pushing the fast forward button on the Pagonging of Zapatera. And honestly, you’re not going to hear me complaining about it. Hopefully things will pick up now that Andrea’s rock-solid alliance has to vote each other off.
In other news, there are a jillion people on Redemption Island now. It’s making figuring out the Power Rankings a nightmare. It’s like trying to predict a game of Calvinball. (I tweeted that joke a week ago and loved it enough to recycle it.)
Who’s Going to Win? Could the Redemption Islanders form a pack to vote for whoever returns to the game?
Power Rankings Update: Sash and I both had Matt and Mike as our Redemption Island picks. So, we both earn two points. Sash had Steve eighth and Ralph seventh. I had Ralph eighth and Steve seventh. So, we both earn fifteen points. The current score is now Team Sash 129 to Team Gordon 116. Since I pitched a perfect game (…for once…) none of the readers got the best of me. Better luck next week.
Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes