On last night’s “Jersey Shore,” Sam’s return took Roid Ron’s two brain cells for a spin, but he quickly learned that if he wanted to get his abusive, highly toxic relationship back, he had to be on his best behavior.
As for the biggest drama of the night, Snooki won the Pabst Blue Ribbon for wrapping her grubby paws around Vinny and not wanting to let him go! In between her tears of seemingly unrequited love, she managed to get her pride back from the Time Square-taxi-cab-ordeal by cheesing out The Sitch’s bed!
Check out the highlights here:
Snooki’s on-and-off again obsession with Vinny (and his Special Friend Down South) suddenly explodes like a bad case of PMS, and she follows him home from the club to stop his willful act of exchanging crabs with a Dominican DTF-er. But before she and a tag-along Sam can scream in his face, Ron grabs both of them with the power of his overstretched deltoids and guards Vin’s door. Snooki flees to her room and chokes on her own tears. “Such a pig just like Ron is,” says Sam trying to comfort her.
Later that night, Vinny is confused and angry that Snooki doesn’t allow him to smush with whomever he wants but that she freely can go around and offer her Oompa Loompas to all of Seaside Heights!
After two weeks of not dealing with the burrito and meatball bombs that have been unleashed in the downstairs toilet, JWoww steps up and calls a plumber to fix the dirty problem. Lo and behold, the cause of the clog wasn’t actually all those post-GTL lunches (although they were definitely mixed in there)—there was a t-shirt stuck in the pipes! Ewww. Little Snooki decides to be a big person and clean up the mess—with Cascade dishwashing detergent.
Now that Ron’s been on his best behavior, Sam decides that he can hang around her and Snooks for a self-proclaimed Sober Day. The ex-lovebirds decide to help the Orange Gerbil execute her revenge prank on Mikey by cheesing his bed with Parmesan, cream cheese, and some crushed red pepper!
Later that night, Mr. Sitch strolls on in with a barely legal DTF-er and the two jump into his stinky cheese bed! The next morning, he complains to the girls that he couldn’t do the deed with the girl because she stunk like grated cheese!
Now that her hormones have started to balance out again, Snooki apologizes to Vinny for her behavior and says she doesn’t want to ruin their friendship. Vinny and his perfectly tweezed fro-brows simmer down in relief.
See Snooki in Rolling Stone: