UPDATED: Charlie Sheen says he fully intends living longer than his “Two and a Half Men” producer Chuck Lorre. “Chuck, I will outlive you! I will piss you off!” Sheen declared when he was confronted in a parking garage by a TMZ camera crew. Sheen, on a rehab leave that has shut down production of his CBS sitcom, then said he misses Lorre and wishes to get back to work.
PREVIOUSLY: Charlie Sheen’s long-suffering boss on “Two and a Half Men,” co-creator and executive producer Chuck Lorre, poked fun at Sheen’s hedonistic lifestyle in the end credits of Monday night’s episode of the sitcom on CBS.
Lorre, whose company also produces “The Big Bang Theory” and “Mike & Molly” for CBS, has long used the show-ending production company credit – the so-called “vanity card” that identifies the production company that makes a TV show – for communicating messages on various subjects. In fact, he maintains an archive of his Chuck Lorre Productions vanity-card messages, including this latest one – No. 329 – right here.
In this new one, Lorre inventories the personal habits that he hopes will sustain his health and his life span. “I exercise regularly,” he wrote. “I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year. I floss every night. I’ve had chest x–rays, cardio stress tests, EKG’s and colonoscopies. I see a psychologist and have a variety of hobbies to reduce stress. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. I don’t have crazy, reckless sex with strangers.”
And here’s the punchline: At the conclusion of his litany of good-health habits, Lorre wrote, “If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I’m gonna be really pissed!”
Lorre was referring, of course, to all the unhealthful habits Sheen indulges in, although, to be fair, we don’t recall reading any reports that Sheen smokes cigarettes, in addition to all his other vices.
It couldn’t be determined if this new vanity card was just a joke between friends or if it reflects Lorre’s growing frustration with the unstable star of his most valuable show.