The Hidden Meaning of SoapNET’s Valentine’s Marathon

by | January 28, 2011 at 12:42 PM | Deep Soap

Conspiracy Theories About ABC Daytime Based on SoapNET’s Valentine’s Day Marathon

The episodes that ABC selects for its SOAPNet holiday marathons can be viewed as a window into ABC Daytime’s soul, hinting to fans about future story directions.  Or, it could be a random assortment picked out by a junior executive with a dartboard.  But it’s a lot more fun to pretend that this marathon matters.  Here is what ABC Daytime has on tap for their wedding-themed Valentine’s Day marathon, which actually airs Sunday, February 13, because on the actual Valentine’s Day ABC is dispatching its soap stars to the homes of single viewers to provide them an evening of real life romance.  Well, not really, but wouldn’t that be the most successful marketing campaign ever?  Here is the line-up for ABC’s Valentine’s vow marathon:

All My Children:  Episode #2008-9878  & #2008-9880 (Original Air Date:  May 21, and 23 2008) – Surrounded by family and friends, Jesse (Darnell Williams) and Angie (Debbi Morgan) are re-married.  Special musical guest Ne-Yo performs at the ceremony. During their wedding reception, Angie is held hostage at gunpoint and Jesse will stop at nothing to save his new bride.

What it means: Not much about the show is working right now, but everyone loves Jesse and Angie.  Remember how awesome and romantic it was when they remarried after decades spent apart?  Remember how we sprang for a big time music act?  We’re also including the next episode where Angie gets a gun pointed at her during her wedding  so you will remember that it is ABC daytime.

One Life to Live“: Episode #2003-9037 (Original Air Date:  November 13, 2003) – Blair and “Walker” are about to get married – but will Viki and Kevin stop the wedding with the news that Walker is really Todd?

What it means: OLTL has just launched a storyline that is hinting that it’s possible that maybe, just maybe Todd might not really be Todd.  Suddenly, the show is showing photos of Roger Howarth as Todd.  Eli bequeathed Blair a portrait of herself painted from Blair (Kassie DePaiva) and Todd’s “gold balloon” wedding which most fans agree was the best Todd and Blair wedding of them all.  This led Blair to track down the artist,Tomas (Ted King), in Paris, have the best introductory meeting/chemistry test of any potential soap pairing in recent history, and ponder how the heck one of her wedding photos ended up for sale at a French flea market.  In real life the answer would be that the pictures were posted on-line and somebody made a print, but OLTL clearly wants to fuel speculation that Todd may in fact be Walker Lawrence, the man he pretended to be when he first showed up in Llanview looking like Trevor St. John. If this were the case, I’m not sure what the explanation would be for Todd holding an amnesiac Marty prisoner and brainwashing her into falling in love with him a couple years ago.  It seems like it would have to be some sort of crazy John Black-Roman Brady type switcheroo, where Walker truly believed he was Todd.  Not to mention, there was a “real” Walker Lawrence who looked just like New Todd who died on camera.  There are a million other logical problems with that storyline.  Howarth left the show because he hated that Todd had become a romantic lead, so he really would have issues with the way the character is portrayed now. It has got to be a red herring designed to get viewers interested in Tomas.  Then again,  why would SoapNET pick the “Walker” wedding as opposed to the gold balloon wedding that is being referenced on the show?  This must mean that Walker is relevant. OMG, the o.g. Todd is so coming back. Or not.  Why are you trying to drive me crazy, SoapNET?

General Hospital“: Episode #1999-9187 (Original Air Date:  February 16, 1999) – On Valentine’s Day, Lucky takes Elizabeth on a surprise trip to a church.  The two share a romantic evening as they exchange vows about their feelings and future.

What it means: With Brenda (Vanessa Marcil Giovinazzo) about to attempt to marry Sonny (Maurice Benard) again, it would be natural for SoapNET to rerun one of Brenda’s weddings, or one of Sonny’s weddings, or one of their ill-fated attempts to marry each other.  Instead, on the heels of the shocking news that Liz is going to be written off the show, we are getting a teenage Lucky and Liz in one of their sweetest, most romantic scenes ever.  It’s like we’re being taunted with the memory of how great they were, and reminded that we never got to see Jonathan Jackson and Becky Herbst in a real wedding scene.  This feels like pouring salt into the wound.  It’s easy to imagine Lucky flashing back to the night in the church with Liz as he reels from the news of her inevitable violent death at the hands of Helena or the Balkan or whatever horrific fate is going to befall her. Why must you break my heart, SoapNET?

This Week in Hirings And Firings

Though nothing compares to the shocking events that rocked daytime last week, a couple of notable casting changes have been announced in the past few days.  Kyle Lowder is departing “The Bold & the Beautiful,” according to Soap Opera Digest.  His character, Rick Forrester, has languished on the backburner for the past year, so the news is not particularly shocking.

Fans of the Winters-Barber family on “The Young & the Restless,” rejoice.  The newly adult Nate Hastings is returning to Genoa City.  The excellently named Walter Fauntleroy is playing the character, who will first appear in the February 7 episode. According to soaps.com, so far he is only slated for five episodes, but I would assume that he will stick around for longer if the character clicks.  There is no word on whether Nate’s appearance has anything to do with his mother Olivia’s (Tonya Lee Williams) upcoming visit to B&B.

Finally, “As The World Turns” and “Days of Our Lives” alumnus Austin Peck will be playing a role on “One Life To Live” that is shrouded in mystery.  He told Soap Opera Digest, “I don’t know what kind of legs this character will have; hopefully, he’ll have strong ones. It all depends on how they write him and what I do with what they give me.” That sure sounds like a recurring villain.