Former ‘Bachelorette‘ contestant Julien Hug was remembered by family and friends Friday in a “heartbreaking” service a week after committing suicide.
An estimated 500 mourners filled the Village Church in Rancho Santa Fe, California, where they heard Hug, through a note he left, explain he was tried of battling “severe” depression, reported RadarOnline.
“If life’s not enjoyable, why stick around?” the 35-year-old wrote before shooting himself in a remote location 90 miles outside of Los Angeles.
Hug’s girlfriend, Jennifer Bell, called him the “perfect partner” and said, “”I will miss every night where we would lie in bed and before he went to sleep he would whisper in my ear and say I love you.”
During the service, Hug’s parents, Bertrand and Denise Hug, revealed the contents of his suicide note, which was addressed to them, Radar reported.
“I’m sorry to do this,” he wrote. “I feel terribly about the grief I’ve caused…I feel awful and don’t know how to cope. If life’s not enjoyable, why stick around? This will hurt you. I’m sorry to have to do this to you. I love you both tremendously…But I’m terribly sad everyday. I hurt. People will think I took the easy way out. I say I took the smart way out…Tell everyone I love them.”
“He was depressed and struggling, and nobody knew,” Hug’s father told UsMagazine.com last week. “He couldn’t find his way.”
‘Bachelorette’ Jillian Harris, who picked Ed Swiderski in the 2009 season, used Twitter to mourn his death. “Please say a prayer for the loss of a friend this morning,” she wrote last week. “Life is fragile, don’t forget to love the ones you love.”
Those dealing with depression can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 1-800-273-TALK (8255).