‘Real Housewives’ Throwdown: ‘Don’t Call Me Honey’

by | July 13, 2010 at 10:36 AM | RealityTV, Show & Tell, The Real Housewives, TV News

'Real Housewives' Face-Off: Teresa Giudice vs. Danielle Staub (Photo: Bravo)

'Real Housewives' Face-Off: Teresa Giudice vs. Danielle Staub (Photo: Bravo)

What’s being hailed as bigger than the Notorious Table Flipping Fiasco of ’09, the ‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey‘ went on a hair-raising tear on Monday night’s episode, in what is sure to become a country clubbing classic.

The long-awaited, weave-wrecking showdown between Teresa Giudice and Danielle Staub finally took place during nine minutes of jaw-dropping, trash-tastic horror.

Because these are ‘Real’ rich, ahem, ladies, the face-off took place at a country club, and in true high-school fashion, the spat was sparked because Teresa had to say hello to Danielle first.

Making an effort (to provoke?), Teresa tried to engage her reality rival in some small talk, but Danielle wasn’t having it: “I really don’t find this to be a friendly conversation, I find it to be too gamey,” Danielle said.

“You know me, I’m like the sweetest person, I’m the nicest …” Teresa replied. “No, I don’t know you that way,” Danielle interrupted, “but go ahead.”

So Teresa went ahead. “No honey, I kept my mouth shut.”

“Don’t call me honey,” Danielle fired back, with the high road clearly in the tail lights.

“I don’t want to call you honey–you’re an old hag–so I don’t want to call you honey, bitch. Is that better? Is bitch better?” Teresa asked, clearly trying to satisfy Danielle’s request.

“That’s a f**king nuff,” determined Danielle.

Annnnnnd it’s on! Chaos ensues, with screaming, squealing, name-calling, hair-pulling, trampling, and chasing each other through the club in a cougar catfight of epic proportions.

See How the ‘Country Club Chaos’ Escalated Here:

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Best Bitchy Exchange: “I live in a $5 million dollar home, bitch,” yelled Teresa. “Yeah, which is in foreclosure,” Danielle pointed out.

Best Moment That Didn’t Actually Happen: Hiding behind a wall, Danielle begged, “Get me out of here! I’m gonna pass out!”

Best Lesson Learned: “You don’t run at a psychopath, you run away from a psychopath.”

Most Ironic Line: “Show that you have class … show that you’re a classy person.”

Best Line from an Innocent Bystander: “This is such f**king bulls***!”

Most Bizarre Statement: “Love and light. Stay in the positive, b*tch.”

Most Pathetic Excuse: “My heels are broken! I can’t move. I broke my f**king heel!”

Best ‘What Did You Just Call Me?’ Moment: “You are a coke whore! You are a coke f**king who-ah!”

Biggest Oops: “I pulled her f**king weave out of her hair.”–Ashley Holmes (Jacqueline Laurita’s 19-year-old daughter), who took a swipe at Danielle’s ‘luscious locks’ before she was scurried away in a car.

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And there you have it! Reality TV at its finest.

What did you think of the latest ‘Housewives’ throwdown? Was it worth the wait? Who won?