Jennifer Hudson Breaks Silence on ‘Surreal’ Family Tragedy

by | June 29, 2010 at 7:09 PM | American Idol, TV News

'American Idol' Alum Jennifer Hudson (Photo: Michael Buckner/Getty Images)

'American Idol' Alum Jennifer Hudson (Photo: Michael Buckner/Getty Images)

After more than a year and a half, Jennifer Hudson has broken her silence on the tragedy that robbed her of three family members, her mother included.

“It’s all a blur, it was surreal,” Hudson says on her VH1′s ‘Behind the Music‘ special, airing Monday, July 5. “It was like I was outside of myself.”

“For almost two weeks straight… [I was] inside one room with just family and friends coming in and out,” the Academy Award winner and ‘American Idol‘ alumna continues. “I prayed when I’d get up in the morning, and prayed before I laid down at night.”

In October 2008, Hudson’s mother Darnell, brother Jason and nephew Julian were murdered during a domestic disturbance. William Balfour, the estranged husband of Hudson’s sister Julia, was soon after indicted on three counts of first-degree murder.

Hudson has hardly spoken of her loss, save for the message within her 2009 Grammys performance of “You Pulled Me Through The Night.”

“I was definitely thinking of my family when I was singing that song,” Hudson says on the VH1 program. “I could hear my brother in my head, like, ‘Jennifer… you need to get up and do it.’ I knew he would be disappointed if I didn’t do it justice.”