‘Entourage’: Ari Gold’s 10 Greatest Hits

by | June 27, 2010 at 10:59 AM | Entourage, HBO, Special Features

Jeremy Piven as Ari Gold in Entourage (HBO)

Jeremy Piven as Ari Gold in Entourage (HBO)

Imagining ‘Entourage‘ without Ari Gold is like picturing ‘Married With Children‘ minus Al Bundy. As Vinnie Chase’s foul-mouthed agent, Jeremy Piven has cemented himself as one of television’s most simultaneously loathsome and lovable characters. His quips – with special attention to Lloyd and E – are legendary. It’s no surprise that Piven has won three Emmys, and received six Golden Globe nominations (he took one home in 2008) for the role. In honor of Sunday’s seventh season premiere (HBO, 10:30 pm), which finds Ari as the head of the world’s largest talent agency desperately trying to lock down a TV distribution deal with the NFL, here’s a look back at some of Mr. Gold’s best lines:

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Season 2, Episode 5: “Neighbors
Ari: What the f*ck are you wearing?
Lloyd: I’m trying out new looks. This one is my Andre 3000. You like?
Ari: No I don’t. You look like Michelle Kwan in drag. Why don’t you do a triple f*cking axel over to the phone and try Cameron again.

Season 2, Episode 13: “Exodus
Lloyd [trough the intercom]: It’s Lloyd, looking for Mr. Gold’s car.
Ernesto: Sorry Lloyd, it’s a company car. Mr. McQuewick said I can’t give it to him.
Ari: Can’t give it to me? Ernesto! How many f*cking pesos did I give you for Christmas? Huh Ernesto? Every Christmas for the past decade! Half of Mexico is eating on my chip that I’ve given you. Now bring my motherf*cking car now! Por Favor!
Ernesto: Sorry, Mr. Gold. Oh, and Mr. Gold? I’m from Guatemala and our currency is the Quetzal.

Season 3, Episode 7: “Strange Days
Terrence: Ari, you look a little haggard. Everything alright?
Ari: It’s called aging, Terrence. Not everyone can stay young by sucking the blood of their employees.

Season 4, Episode 3:  “Malibooty
[Ari calls Vince about E talking to Ari behind his back]
Ari: You know that your man has broken out of the Oompa-Loompa factory and is up to no good?

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Season 4, Episode 9: “The Young and the Stoned
Mrs. Ari [talking on the soap opera she was asked to play in]: Tell me that it’s exiting, and that if I did it I would be good
Ari: It’s a soap opera baby… there is no good, there’s just degrees of bad.
Mrs. Ari: Well, then tell me that I would be pretty. As pretty as the day I left the show.
Ari: Well you left the show when you were 25 and now they shoot everything in hi-def.

Watch The Trailer For Season Seven:

Season 5, Episode 7: “Gotta Look Up To Get Down
Lloyd: Are you hiding something from me Ari?
Ari: Only my c*ck and my a**hole, Lloyd.

Season 5, Episode 11: “Play’n With Fire
Ari: Half the town is out of a job and you can’t find me one available director?
Lloyd: Kevin Smith isn’t doing anything.
Ari: Are you looking at the DGA list or are you staring out the window at the line of the Sprinkles f*cking cupcake store?

SLIDESHOW: The Boys Are Back!

Season 3, Episode 6: “Three’s Company
Ari: Tell Drama he’s on the top of my list of things to do today, along with inserting needles in my c*ck!

Season 1, Episode 2: “The Review
Ari: Let’s hug it out, bitch.

Season 1, Episode 7: “The Scene
Ari: I’m ready to go, baby. I’m like R. Kelly at recess.

Did we miss any of your favorites? Let us know in the comments!