Remember when we had to write letters (actual letters! with stamps and everything!) or send wacky things like bottles of Tabasco to TV networks to try to save our favorite shows? Yeah, that’s so last century. Now when viewers want to make their voices heard, they go where everybody else is going online: Facebook.
Normally, online petitions carry about as much weight as marriage proposals on ‘The Bachelor.’ But the “Betty White to Host SNL (please?)!” Facebook group managed to mobilize more than half a million fans—and convinced Lorne Michaels and NBC to let White host last week. And with White’s appearance driving ratings to an 18-month high, now everyone from Carol Burnett to Stephen Hawking (!) has their own Facebook group devoted to getting them an ‘SNL‘ hosting gig.
But it doesn’t stop there: TV-related Facebook campaigns are popping up all over, with demands that range from the mostly reasonable to the hopelessly delusional. Here, a quick rundown:
Watch Betty White On ‘SNL’:
Let Cam & Mitchell Kiss on Modern Family!
Mission Statement: Fans of gay couple Cameron & Mitchell on ABC’s ‘Modern Family’ want to see an on-air liplock.
Best Comment: “So we can see a couple of horny teenagers make out (which I don’t have a problem with), but heaven forbid we see a little smooch between two people who have a deep love for each other?”
Likelihood Of Success: It already has—sort of. ‘Modern Family’ producers say they’re planning to address Mitchell’s discomfort with public displays of affection next season, and ask viewers to “chillax” in the meantime.
Get Ellen off of american idol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mission Statement: Remove new addition Ellen DeGeneres from the ‘Idol’ judges’ panel, and quick. (Look at all those exclamation marks—they’re serious!!!!!)
Best Comment: “… Moreover, Ellen cannot speak an English language sentence without stammering and equivocating. Indeed, in my opinion, she’s an embarrassment to T.V. personalities worldwide.”
Likelihood Of Success: Sorry, folks—Ellen reportedly signed a five-year deal back in September.
Christopher Walken on Dancing with the Stars
Mission Statement: Get the always-creepy actor to strut his stuff on ABC’s hit dance competition.
Followers: A mere 18
Best Comment: “He is awesome….remember the Fatboy Slim video.” (Indeed—that video is undeniably awesome.)
Likelihood Of Success: So-so… but if it does work, we’ll definitely be tuning in.
In Support of ‘Glee’ Making a Britney Spears Episode
Mission Statement: Prod the makers of Fox’s musical hit to follow their recent Madonna-themed ep with a Brit-centric one.
Best Comment: “IF they did this…GLEE will be my ALL TIME favorite show!!!!” (You know it’s true because she used ALL CAPS.)
Likelihood Of Success: Pretty low. ‘Glee’ star Matthew Morrison said recently he “hope[s] our show doesn’t go along that route.” Ouch.
Petition for ‘Friends: The Movie’ To Be Made
Mission Statement: Fans of NBC’s long-running sitcom want to see old pals Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe on the big screen.
Best Comment: “i really miss them..!!!!” (Aw… there’s always syndication!)
Likelihood Of Success: We’d say not much—but after ‘Love Happens’ and ‘The Bounty Hunter,’ Jennifer Aniston might be desperate enough to sign on the dotted line.
The Price is Wrong Without Bob Barker
Mission Statement: Not so much a specific demand, but more a general declaration that current ‘Price is Right’ host Drew Carey isn’t fit to hold Bob’s skinny mike.
Best Comment: “I cannot even sit through TPIR now. Drew Carey makes me vomit in my mouth a little.”
Likelihood Of Success: Well, Bob’s still alive and kicking. Maybe they can dust him off for a few more Showcase Showdowns.
Facebook Petition for a ‘Boy Meets World’ Reunion Special
Mission Statement: Get the cast of the ’90s ABC family sitcom back together “because we all know how much we miss it.” Um, okay.
Best Comment: “Some buddies of mine and I sat down with all seven seasons and watched through them all in about three weeks. We all agree there needs to be a reunion.”
Likelihood Of Success: Pretty decent. Aside from Topanga (Danielle Fishel, host of Style’s ‘The Dish’), the cast doesn’t seem too busy these days.
Getting Betty White to Host the Academy Awards
Mission Statement: Continue Betty White’s relentless takeover of the nation’s airwaves by installing her as Oscar host.
Best Comment: “Let her do it how much longer do we have with her!”
Likelihood Of Success: Very slim. An Academy spokesperson has already stated that the show’s producers, not Facebook, will choose the host. And on a side note: Can we give this sweet old lady a break already? She’s 88 years old, for crying out loud. Let her enjoy her golden years in peace.
Bring Back ‘Joey’ Petition
Mission Statement: Yes, you read that correctly: These people would like even more of Matt LeBlanc’s disastrous ‘Friends’ spinoff. Because 46 episodes weren’t enough.
Followers: A thankfully slim 126
Best Comment: “Our goal is to bring back this GREAT television show it was and make it even bigger. After all, the best episodes were the ones that were unaired.”
Likelihood Of Success: Not great. LeBlanc’ll be busy with ‘Friends: The Movie,’ remember? Plus he’s got an upcoming Showtime series to worry about.
Little Richard should be in a good cop/bad cop movie with Regis Philbin
Mission Statement: Its beauty is its simplicity: Little Richard + Regis + buddy cop movie = We’re so there.
Followers: 106 true American heroes
Best Comment: “Imagine Regis yelling ‘COME ON! WE GOTTA GO!’ and Little Richard responding ‘WOOOOO! I’m two steps ahead of you OLD MAN!’ He’d sing the parts in caps.”
Likelihood Of Success: To be honest, miniscule. But we can dream, can’t we?