It’s time for a good old-fashioned bikini bashing on the latest ‘Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains‘ (which you can watch free online here on Fancast). This episode left me feeling young again, just like I did in college after a long weekend of drinking – half naked, confused and not really knowing what happened. The heroes were barely visible. The villains spent most of the time chatting about how bad they wanted Parvati out, and then not one vote was cast for her. Was I asleep when all the votes changed to Randy? Lets break this all down.
First, even though I don’t really want to, lets look at the Heroes tribe. The HerNo’s, I mean Heroes seem to be lacking personality and flair. It’s like I’m watching and old silent war film every time the heroes tribe appears on screen. Every time we see them, they never say anything, look dejected and this terribly sad music plays. Are we supposed to feel bad for them? Or are we being set up to feel bad for them so when the Villains keep kicking their butts, the sympathy card is already rock solid?
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Rupert and Tom mentioned the tribe “bonded” over catching the chickens. This seemed like a funny way to bond. Not because catching chickens is something I don’t think condones team unity, but because NONE of the girls were there! How can the whole tribe be bonding when the women are nowhere to be found? You see, these are the moments I believe that women are smarter than men. Instead of the women running around the jungle trying to chase down Mac from Chicken Run, they are back at camp saving their energy and waiting for a fantastic chicken dinner.
Of course the women probably told the guys they will be working hard at camp, but we all know they did not want to bust their ass chasing feathers. Players activate this tactic a lot on Survivor and many times the viewers don’t even know it. For example, on my season there were many times that Heidi, Shawna and even Rob C would get fire wood and be on boiling water duty just to save energy.
Lets be honest, when individual immunity is on the line and that is the ONLY thing that will keep you in the game, it’s best to save your energy for the challenges rather than run around the jungle chasing tail. Then again this is the “Heroes” tribe and I’m shocked it took them this long to assert their ability to provide for others. On this note Tom impresses me. Everyone knows I WAS not a huge Tom Westman fan, heck even he knows it and has confronted me about it.
When I spoke with Tom before he left for the game, he mentioned how concerned he was about his age and that he didn’t know many of the people from the show anymore. Age and lack of prior personal relationships with these people could hurt him, a totally valid point. But I feel he has done a great job melding with the other players, forming bonds, and providing. The only problem is that the same things that help you bond (like providing, being strong, winning challenges) can burn you later.
Tom is a strong player and they would be stupid to keep him around forever. Let the chickens live for a few more days and focus on giving the strong players the axe.
Onto the villains tribe. I’m not sure what brought on the epic bikini bashing of Parvati, but I thought it was strange. All of a sudden the Villains realized how good of a player she is – um HELLO have any of you people watched her play on other seasons! She is a great player and definitely a threat to everyone who is not on her side. Jerri seemed especially mad at Parvati and I was actually surprised at some of Jerris comments. Don’t get me wrong, Jerri is the queen of biting comments, that’s why we all love her, but she was acid tongued when speaking of Parvati.
I guess Parvati is threatening to Jerri in some way. We all know Jerri would use her female wiles to woo the men if possible too, who wouldn’t! The epic showdown I predicted (along with most of America) between Boston Rob and Russell is shaping up to be something really good.
Although both boys are doing a lot of posturing and talking behind each other’s backs, neither has made a move yet. I’m praying Russell strikes first by burying Robs hat, but he would have to predict a time Rob removes his crusty old hat, which is almost never! Hey Rob, its time to get a new hat. I have a crisp new Yankee’s one for you.
Physical challenges are always my favorite kind of challenges. The original physical challenge was called “pirates booty” on Survivor: Thailand where Robb (with TWO b’s people!) famously strangled Clay during the challenge. I was hoping for physical challenges on my Survivor but that didn’t happen so I’m living vicariously through all of these new smack down battles. Watching these folks wrestle in mud with giant pillows sounds like something an ex WWE crew person would create – and I love it. The heroes dominated and James showed us that he could be a switch hitter. Is he a hero or a villain? Time will tell.
Tribal Council was the most confusing and interesting part of the show. I was sure Parvati was going to get voted out, especially after a majority of the show was spent showing everyone talking and bashing her. Jerri called her a “virus”, Coach is convinced all she does is “bat her eyes” (a girl needs to blink, right Coach?) and Randy was sure he got the others to write down her name. In true Survivor fashion, Parvati got absolutely NO votes at tribal council and we have no idea why!
I’m thinking Russell helped pull this off for her. Parvati can’t campaign for herself because she was on the chopping block to go home. Her biggest ally is Russell, so they must have devised some ingenious plan and executed it with perfection. I just wish I could have seen it. Either way, it just goes to show you how powerful she is! Mark my words; a Parvati/Jerri showdown will debut before this season is over. Lets just hope it happens during another mud fight challenge.
P.S.- Hey Randy, nice job throwing your buff in the fire! Now you can’t sell it on eBay…
Survivor beauty tip of the week: Being in the sun and salt water all day with no access to showers can be devastating to your skin. Sand is one of the best exfoliates out there! Take a handful of sand and rub it on your skin in small circles. When you’re done, wash it off and presto… you get spa like skin, without the price tag.
Lets all cross our fingers and hope for some more hat burning, chicken chasing, mud wrestling, and cougar-licious moments in the next episode.