’90210′: RIP Jackie Taylor

by | November 18, 2009 at 6:16 PM | 90210, Recap

Jennie Garth on '90210' (The CW)

Jennie Garth on '90210' (The CW)

This episode of ’90210′ was 100% Teddy free.  I did not miss him.  You know what I did miss? Liam’s tarp.  Come on.  This is the only interesting storyline on the show.  Give me a little something, writers.

Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner

Annie invites Jasper to dinner at Chez Wilson.  Hey, her parents are finally paying attention to her.  Dixon accuses Annie of dating a drug dealer before bailing.  A predictably awkward dinner ensues, with Annie talking up Jasper’s artistic genius to her wary parents.  Harry is spectacularly clueless about Jasper and Annie’s social life.  Way to be an attentive principal!  Jasper claims the evil popular kids started the drug-dealing rumor about.  Her parents tell her to stop seeing him, oddly arguing that his unpopularity is cause for suspicion.  Yes, because the football player date rapist would have been a better choice.  They cluelessly say that Annie is not an outcast or a loner.  Harry has got to be the worst Dad on television right now.  Annie tells Jasper they are now Romeo and Juliet.  He retaliates by pushing Navid down the stairs.  That was convincingly psycho, yet completely random.  I guess this makes Navid the Daniel Pearl of high school journalism.  I bet he’s going to have turned out to have killed his uncle, and Annie will be off the hook.  How disappointing.

Naomi Arbitrarily Wants Liam Back

The CU Dean of Admissions catches Naomi making out with Jamie and makes barbed remarks about her dumping Richard for his roommate.  She admits to Jamie that she was dating Richard to get to his Mom.  He is appalled by her duplicity and dumps her.  Naomi apologizes to Richard for her web of lies.  In a totally contrived moment, Naomi helps Liam lift a heavy box.  He makes an impassioned speech about how he wishes he could take back what happened last year.  For no apparent reason, Naomi seems to listen to him.  When Jamie decides he was too hasty about rejecting her, she turns him down because she has decided she is still hung up on Liam.  So does she no longer care that he slept with someone else?  This is such lazy writing.

Magic Pills

Adrianna insists to Naomi and Navid that she is not using drugs, splitting hairs by truthfully telling Naomi she isn’t on coke.  The pills really do seem to mellow her out.  Jasper is good at his job. She coldly tells Navid she feels better because she realized she never really loved him.  Naomi catches Adrianna hiding the pills in her purse and is angry that she lied to her again.  So we’re replaying Season 1 here. Yawn.

Jackie Goes Gently into the Good Night

Jackie’s still alive!  She’s in the hospital, after suffering cardiac arrest.  Her prognosis is bad.  Silver encourages Kelly to make peace with her.  When Kelly gets to the hospital, Jackie’s room is empty.  She breaks down. Of course, it turns out that Jackie’s just moved to a private room.  Jackie apologizes for a lifetime of bad parenting.  It’s a touching scene decades in the making. Jackie passes away with both her daughters at her side.  The point of killing her off? Yet to be determined.

Roughing It

Ryan persuades Jen to go camping.  It rains. They have an argument about how he always goes to her socialite functions, but she whines about doing anything he likes. She admits that she’s broke and legally married. Ryan promises he will never cheat on her like her husband did.  What does he see in her?  They are the most implausible couple on the show, which is saying something.

Quotes

Watching that video on industrial meat production just gave me a craving for Kogi sliders. — Naomi

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