Unless yesterday you were actually living in a jungle, you heard about Heidi and Spencer Pratt fleeing Costa Rica and running for the hills on ‘I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here.” But Tuesday night, viewers were treated to one more full hour of their spoiled antics. And quite possibly after the behavior we witnessed, it might be the last hour these two will ever appear on television again.
Picking up where we left off last night with the trauma tank challenge, none of the celebs fared too well. (Spencer and Heidi flat out refused to participate for this challenge) Janice Dickinson seems to be voted most likely to take over for Speidi. Janice tapped out one minute into the challenge and screamed, “Do you know who I am!” Here’s the messed up part, we do know who she is. Wish I could say the same about some of the others.
And the winner of the challenge is….Sanjaya. With the victory, he killed two birds with one stone. Winning the challenge and finally winning something on television. The prize would grant reality television’s greatest gift, immunity. Sanjaya also has a penchant to be filmed constantly with his shirt off. His skinny frame and new Mohawk haircut make him perfect as the lead in a remake of Disney’s Jungle Book.
We also heard from Preacher in training, Stephen Baldwin. The bloated and tatted wannabe Rev delivered a sermon that had Spencer’s eyes spinning. “That’s me in two years” the young un-wise one said. But after watching two days of his antics and knowing how Hollywood might react to them, he’ll be Stephen Baldwin in way less than his projected two years.
At this point Speidi had announced yet again they were leaving the island but before they would depart, Stephen Baldwin would give us the moment America has been waiting for. He was going to baptize Senor Spencer Pratt on television. This didn’t sit too well with Janice who said she wasn’t there to “be with a bunch of Holy Rollers.”
With one more sales pitch left in his pipes about his relationship with religion, Spencer went on about the power he receives from his maker. “Jesus makes me so powerful. I said make me hang out with Miley Cyrus. He did it in a month.” Are you sure that Twitter isn’t owed some thanks as well for the introduction to Miley?
The producers knew that Speidi weren’t long for the jungle and they had better get them involved in some sort of a challenge. So the pair was led to a chamber where they would go in separately and try to retrieve stars (so fitting) amongst rats, snakes and other creepy crawly thingys. Spencer admitted going into the competition against his wife that “he can’t lose.” Heidi also said that Spencer would “throw her off a hill” if it meant beating her. This is true Hollywood love at its finest. Up next for these two sounds like a guest spot on NBC’s other show, ‘Law and Order.’
When told that they would be winning food for themselves and their team, Heidi went on to show that she still had no idea how the game works. “We don’t care about our teams we only want food for us.” When showed what the victorious menu was, Heidi quipped, “I don’t like fish, so I don’t care if I win or not.” She doesn’t like fish? What about Fridays? Spencer won the challenge which means the guys feasted on the vile near spoiled fish they showed and the ladies munched on rice and beans. (I’d love to see NBC cross this show with ‘The Biggest Loser‘ and drop those contestants in the jungle.)
After winning the challenge Spencer treated us with a farewell bonus, he began talking in the third person. He said that “Spencer Pratt was used to the jungle because he’s at war seven days a week in Hollywood.” I think the week is going to get a lot longer once you touchdown at LAX, bro.
It was now time for the baptism. Janice and Patti Blago both said that “one must be ordained” before they can perform that service. Maybe so, but what about getting far in Celebrity Apprentice and having Alec’s home number, that must account for something?
Stephen took Spencer to the river and baptized him. And for a guy that is not ordained according to Ms. Dickinson, Stephen did a great job. Afterwards Spencer said that he felt every one of his sins was
cleared and “he took a ten-year bubble bath.” (Keep in mind that he’s all of 25.)
In his confession scenes which are remarkably exactly that, Spencer said that he was a “super celebrity” and his wife is a “super celebrity” and they “belong in Hollywood with the paparazzi.” Then he hit us with the till-now unknown fact that he and Heidi are the “most famous people in the world.”
No, that wasn’t something crashing out your window. It was Speidi’s publicist’s brain exploding.
With the Costa Rican night settled in, Heidi and Spence were off. Running to salvation while screaming “I’m a celebrity, get me out of here!” Heidi joined in with “We love you hills, here we come!!!” Seriously city of Beverly Hills, speaking for all of us, evict this pair pronto. Spencer left us with two more honest quotes, “Bye America, see you in Hollywood where we belong!” As their car sped away Spencer shouted out the window, “I don’t volunteer, I get paid!!” Good to know if the acting thing dries up after this display he has a big future in bumper sticker writing.
In the live ending (only on the east coast) the men had twenty seconds to decide who was safe on the ladies’ team. They chose Patti Blago. Janice said she was pleased with the pick of Patti. Janice knows how to produce television. Next up were the numbers to call or email regarding which lass America would choose to leave the jungle never to return. We’ll find out whom that special someone is tomorrow.
Looking forward to tomorrow, Janice and John Salley go at it so intensely you’d think they dated at one point. BTW, NBC is king at programming. Directly following I’m a Celebrity was Brian Williams taking us inside Obama’s White House for his own version of Cribs. Sure hope that Speidi tivo’d it, there’s much they can learn from the Prez. For example, he has one special guy who is solely in charge of the “blackberry, breath mints and the sharpies.” Please forward your resume to me and I’ll get it to Team Speidi ASAP!