Eric tells JD’s Dad that he was uncomfortable with the way he forced JD to apologize to him. At practice, JD’s Dad goes on the field to offer him advice. Eric asks him to go back to the sidelines. JD performs badly in the game. His father scolds him at halftime. Eric tells him to back off and advises JD to call his own plays and ignore his father. This inspires JD to greatness. The Panthers win and make the playoffs. JD’s Dad bails on their usual family celebration.
Lyla’s younger siblings come for a visit. They have embraced the Northern Californian lifestyle, to Buddy’s chagrin. Buddy takes them camping. When Buddy barbecues steak, the kids announce that they’re vegetarians. Their stepfather taught them meat is murder. Buddy loses it, saying he’s their father. Buddy throws the meat into the woods and storms off. Lyla tracks him down. In a nice role reversal, he laments that his children hate him. Lyla assures him that he still has her. After the game, the kids soften symbolized by their desire for dairy-product laden sundaes.
Billy shows Jason a recruitment letter Tim received. Jason’s doubtful that Tim’s got what it takes to hack college academics, but suggests putting together a highlight reel. Billy attempts to become Stanley Kubrick. With Jason’s help, it comes out really well.
The confederacy of dunces has actually finished remodeling the house. Jason wants to sell it without a real estate agent. He thinks they can get 295 grand for it. In Dillon? That seems optimistic. They stage an open house. No one makes an offer. Jason’s upset that the others want to lower the offering price. Jason and Herc end up having a wheelchair brawl. Tim, who is proving to be quite the capitalist, closes the blinds and offers to show people the upstairs. Jason’s impassioned plea about why he needs the money for his kid persuades everyone.
At the game, Jason runs into a former Panther who now plays college ball. He introduces Jason to his sports agent, who tells him to look him up if he’s ever in New York. The guys get an offer on the house. This episode was obviously shot before the housing market made its final descent into hell. Jason asks Lyla if she thinks he could make it as a sports agent. Lyla knows he would, but is sad that he plans to move to New York.
Tami counsels a football player named Jemarcus who is in trouble for setting a girl’s hair on fire in chemistry class. Tami meets with his nerdy parents, who are shocked to learn their son is playing football. He forged the permission slip. They want to pull him off the team. Eric’s freaked that he’s about to lose his star fullback. Eric and Tami attempt to change his parents’ mind. His Dad hilariously has no interest in football, hates Dillon, and thinks his child is wasting his time. Of course, Eric and Tami persuade them to come to watch Jemarcus in action. Jemarcus is a bright spot in the game. His parents have learned to stop worrying and love football.
Landry and the cute freshman girl, Devin, rehearse. She plays The Flaming Lips’ She Don’t Use Jelly on the piano, making me think she’s actually 30 years old. Landry kisses her. She is awkward about it. Landry tells Tyra he’s met someone else. When he asks Devin out, she informs him she’s a lesbian. Kissing him made her certain of her sexual orientation. Ha! Landry asks Tami if there’s something about him that repels females. She assures him that once he gets to college girls will be all over him. Word. Landry tells Devin he’s cool with her sapphic tendencies. Crucifictorius rocks out to Vaseline.
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