Matthew Kitchen, NBC Olympics
Apparently NFL superstar Aaron Rodgers isn’t content with simply being the league MVP and winning Super Bowls and dating beautiful women and owning Jet Skis, he also wants to be a gold medalist.
Rodgers Tweeted Monday that he enjoyed watching the new Dream Team documentary so much it made him “really want to win a Gold Medal. Can we get football into the Olympics on short notice?” Well Aaron, no we can’t. Stop asking ridiculous questions.
First, the baseball players want you to get in line behind them and the softball players, windsurfers, and tug of war enthusiasts all took their numbers months ago. Also the pole dancers, but ignore them. Second, not many other countries play football and the ones that do are terrible at the sport, so that doesn’t seem fair. Third, what makes you think you’d be selected for the team? Ever heard of a few guys named Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, and Drew Brees?
But don’t worry, there are plenty of sports we think you could be good at, Aaron. We imagine a career in football has prepared you to play Rugby and we hear you’re pretty solid at golf; both those sports are being added to the Games in 2016. Your arm and leg strength suggests you might be decent at rowing and we know you’re a hunter, so shooting is always an option. We’re also suddenly very interested in equestrian and assume you could purchase a horse or two with your next game check.
Finally, you’ve conquered football, Aaron, so take your cues from Evelyn Stevens and quit your day job. She didn’t start cycling professionally until after Beijing and four years later she’ll be entering the Opening Ceremony as an Olympian. If she can do it, so can you. Pick a sport and roll with it. Or just stick with the Jet Skis and maybe invite us along next time.
The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.