I’m 54 with No Style. Now What?

by | August 12, 2013 at 11:02 AM | Beauty, Fashion

Category5Style.com is a fabulous online fashion experience dedicated to truth in fashion, shopping, and all things style. Lauren is dedicated to giving women all the tools they need to come away with an insightful, honest, and humorous look at where their style truly resides.

By Lauren Deloach, Editor of Category5Style.com

I recently received a reader question from a woman who upon hitting her mid-fifties, has come to the stark realization that she indeed has no style, and furthermore no clue what to do about it.  This happens more than one might believe.  If we break down the typical timeline of a woman’s life who would currently be in her mid-fifties, the precursors are all there.  Whether it’s work, having children, or both in your 20s and 30s, that is the first style marker that can easily disconnect a woman from her style.  Upon entering the forties, many woman find this to be a pivotal time of extremes, where they are either willing to go full force and dive into their style, or take the much easier route and play the “if I ignore it, maybe it will go away” game.  Add in the women that did have children in their twenties and are getting ready to face that crucial college tuition bill, the idea of spending even a dime on your style can seem laughable.  Now, after all that time has passed and style markers have been missed, you finally hit your fifties, where time begins to become your own again and that reflection staring back at you simply won’t be ignored for another decade.  You crash against yourself, wondering not only how did these hideous clothes get into my closet, but how can it even be possible that you have managed to build a closet full of clothes and have absolutely-positively nothing to wear?!?!  As we have just proven…so plausible.  But the dying question still remains: Now what???

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(From left to right: J.Crew Andie Chino with Tuxedo Stripe- $98, www.jcrew.com; TheMeltonPot Compass Necklace- $28, themeltonpot on etsy.com)

 

“Seeing is believing”
Let’s begin by covering the blatantly obvious:  the media world was not set up for a chick in her fifties wondering how in the world to begin again.  So if you’re hoping you will see images of women just like you in the media, don’t hold your breath!  Sure you may catch a commercial or editorial ad here and there focused on anti-aging and reducing the amount of gray in your hair, but as for FAB clothes and jeans just begging to be purchased, not gonna happen.  The world of style just isn’t set up that way, and having that expectation will aid you in the process of beginning again.  So how do you in fact take the images you see in the media and make them work for where you are?  Simple, take that double zero twenty-something (let’s be honest, likely sixteen-something styled to look twenty-something) out of the equation.  Sure, you’ll see her rocking out a beautiful top and covet-worthy jeans, but you have to look past her and begin to see yourself.  Yes ladies, visualization!  Close your eyes and visualize what those pieces would look like on you.  It is always the first and most important step in shopping.  You have to be willing to stop punishing yourself for your current reflection, and begin seeing the crucial chick of style you really want to be.  If upon visualization you feel a bit fearful that you couldn’t pull the look off, then honey you’re on the right track and don’t stop now!

RELATED: Do You Really Know Your Body Shape? Double Check Here!

“Fool me once, shame on you…”
Everyone knows this saying: “Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.”  Of course thanks to George W. Bush mucking it up just once most of us are beyond nervous we’ll do the same.  Anyhow, I like to add in when thinking about style: “Fool me ten times, shame on us both!”  I have to wonder how many times you are really willing to keep going back to the same wretched stores because you have nowhere else to turn.  Honestly, it’s shame on us both!  Shame to the designer/store for continuing to put out pure nonsense every season, and shame on you love for falling for it and making them rich to boot.  If you don’t know where to shop to find clothes that work for your style, I’d rather you stop shopping than to throw your money down the drain.  Wait to find styles that work for you that you truly love, and don’t settle for less.

The best for last is indeed…where in the world should you begin to shop?  After you’re done visualizing your new FAB self, AND you’ve agreed to stop shaming yourself with bad purchases, here is your master list of my top six shopping websites to kick off your style journey.  Remember above all else to ignore the models, visualize yourself, and take the fear that it won’t work as a positive sign that it will.  Finally, temper your expectations that “Rome will indeed be built in a day.”  This isn’t Noah’s Ark you’re trying to build before the big flood, so cool your jets and take your time.  You’ve gone this long dissatisfied, this should be a process you revel in taking your time in to do it right.  Patience will lessen the possibility in having this same style crisis in your sixties.

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  1. www.shopbop.com:  Stylish and unique pieces
  2. www.jcrew.com:  Wardrobe essentials
  3. www.shopsosie.com:  Prints at great prices
  4. www.plumo.com:  Amazing scarves
  5. www.etsy.com:  Jewelry, clutches, and accessories
  6. www.scotch-soda.com:  For the edgy chick that exists in us all

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.